What's Weird?

I was describing my experience of walking among the redwood trees while visiting Santa Cruz.  While on the trail, I was so in love with their beauty and size, the smell of the air, the hair-frizzing moisture that I know is so crucial to these loving giants.  I was trying to express how I felt in my heart and I said, "Walking in the redwoods is like being with great, old Golden Retrievers."

You know those old family dogs, big, gentle, comforting?

My friend responded, "Gina, I mean this with love, because you know I love you,  but you're the weirdest friend I have."

That struck me funny, becauses in my mind, I'm way more "grounded" and "real" than most of her friends.  Then I thought, THAT is what must make me weird!

So, weird it is!  And weird I am!

Then, in the process of happily embracing my weirdness, I got fixated on weirdness.  Aren't we all weird?  Isn't that what relationships are truly about?  Allowing another person in on the secret world of your weirdness?

Compatible weirdness is how we find our best friends!
Complimenting weirdness is how we get along with another person.
Individual weirdness is what makes us entertaining.
It is our weird behaviors, quirks, and interests that separate us from the mundane.

My weird interests, beliefs, and amusements are what make me most happy about myself.  This entire topic has brought to the surface that I have a long history of basking in weird!  My favorite memories involve weird thought processes, activities, and off the path experiences.

The thought of crawling into the mundane society is terrifying.  I hope to continue to grow in my weirdness, but maintain a balance, so that the weirdness doesn't completely take over, and cross over into freakishness.

Now, being called a freak?!  That would be TOO weird.

Previous Post

I am having a full-on fit!  I don't know why I can't get video to play, and my frustration level is ranking HIGH on the scale!

What I would really like to do is stomp and throw myself on the floor.  I'm not even sure where the original video is!

Chicken Man

If you only knew the process I took to get this video onto my blog, well.... then you could explain to me how I did it.  I've wanted to share this since summer, 2011.  I'm ashamed to expose the extent of my computer illiteracy.  I should know more.  But, I don't.  I've officially entered "that generation" --- the generation that doesn't understand steps that are second-nature simple to anyone born after 1970.

 

During this process I downloaded Picasa (it may have already been on my computer), but I haven't an idea how to use it.  I used a google account that has nothing to do with my blogger account.  I saw pictures that moved to Picasa, that I've never seen before,  but I know they're from my camera.

 

I'm really stressed and more than a little freaked out.

But, the happy ending is watching these two happy girls dance to their special IG song. They heard the first notes of the song, handed over their babies to Cathy and me, and danced their happy hearts out.  All worth the computer stress.

Layton, Utah, July-2011. 

 

 

Blog Re-entry

My blog is out of my control.  I think I've fallen behind on blogger updates, and now I can't change my background, nor fonts.  I feel boxed in and nervous.  I finally was ready to blog, and it seemed like a new outfit was in order, but when I tried to change, I found I was stuck.

If you don't know, I attended a parochial school, from 1st grade though 8th grade.  Every day I wore a blue and green tartan plaid skirt (is that an oxymoron?  is tartan just another word for plaid?  now I'm really upset and nervous!!).   Everyday!  The biggest change was in 6th grade, when the girls' uniforms changed from having the top jumper bib, to just a skirt.  Ooooo... womanly!

So, now I'm feeling uniform boxed in with my blog page.  Is this the outfit I'm locked into wearing for the rest of my blog days?  Is this the font!!?  The font is like shoes.  Having to wear the same shoes, day after day.  Arrgggh!!!  I can't change my font?!?! There are a few generic font choices at the top of this page, but none that make me feel special!

I'm so sad.  I'm blog suffocating. 

I was able to change the picture on the my page.  That made me happy.  That is a picture of Sequoia Lake, when I was on a day hike with some friends.  June, 2011.  It was a very rainy day, quite unusual for June.  Yvonne and I were sitting there, having our simple picnic lunches.  Soft and quiet.  Lovely day.  One of those moments.

Maybe I'll blog again tomorrow.  When I come down from my ledge. 

Be Amazed - so far

2012.... so far.....

I was amazed by the Sedona sunrise
and
the Sedona night sky.
At this moment, I'm recalling both,
and again, I'm amazed.

My life friendship with Cathy
continues to amaze me.
Within 6 weeks, we made
it happen in Santa Cruz
and in Sedona!
Brandi Carlile,
Peachie,
Michael and Alex.
Times were amazing.

I felt amazing love and connection.
I met my nephew's birth mother,
and I felt so blessed and fortunate to
have the opportunity to feel that type of
connection with a stranger/non-stranger.
She made a remarkably brave decision,
at a tender age.
We benefitted. Our family.
I love her for doing that.
My heart heated up and swelled as soon as
my eyes saw her, and I knew "that is her."
Thank you, Marie.
You are amazing.

I was an amazing teacher last week (except for
the incident with the student seizure - ain't no big deal).
I taught writing.
I TAUGHT hard.
I got results.
I got kids to give me results.
We were worn out, but proud.
They wrote amazing essays.
Step back, and be amazed.

I got into the water, and I am guarded, protected,
and my faith is growing.
People are coming to me.
I am blending oils and creams and potions and faith.
I am MAKING amazing.
I'm trying not to look so amazed.

2012 - be amazed.

okay.

2012 - Amaze

 I wish I'd invented this

I love each and every one of the thoughts on it.  I've printed out a copy of it, on some very cool brown stock paper.  I plan on placing it somewhere in my home, as a reminder to love the sentiments each day.   Let's play!

My initials are GW -    Go Places  Wonder           

What do your initials tell you to do?

OR.... new game.....

Go Places

Imagine

Never Quit

Amaze Yourself

I had already decided that my 2012 root word would be "amaze"

Be amazing

Be amazed

Recognize others and their amazing qualities

Notice things that are quietly amazing 

Be in search of amazing

Create amazements

I think amaze feels like a straight shot of oxygen.

It will blind you, then insist you look again.

It will keep you awake at night,

and giggle behind your back.

I wish I had a Z in my name.

                                                                              

Ups and Downs

Last  week -
A jazzy tune

Uplifted, refreshed, happy, joyful. Cathy was here.  Time was short, but full. 
Anthropologie in Fresno. 
Whole Foods shopping. 
Late night drive in Kings County, in search of a country house.
Missy loving our friend.
Cathy learning how to get to Stratford.
A drive to Santa Cruz
Phil's Fish Market
Santa Cruz is more than the Boardwalk
Sea Cliff Drive
Rio Theatre
Brandi (thanks for bringing us to SC)
I scored a cool lunch box
Crepe House
My first time scaring a stranger
Little fear + much fear = balance
Another successful visit
The thrill in knowing we'll see each other again in a month
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This week -
a melancholy ballad

Desiree
a baby losing her mother
a husband, painfully saying goodby to his love
parents, broken
friends, wondering why
me, cheated again
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Cathy visited Briana last week.  My message to Briana was that I am continuing to build my relationship with her.  Even though I can't look into her eyes, I know her, and our friendship continues.  I am still learning and growing with Briana, but on a different plane. She is my new friend. 

I knew she was special.  I knew she was gifted beyond her years and beyond this earthly existence.  Briana was more.  And, it made sense that Cathy would be the person to bond with her.  Cathy is more, too.

Briana was the earth.  She radiated groundedness. Forest faeries dance around her, with love. 
She is the  protector.


Desiree was another young woman, who I learned this weekend, was also "more".  Her friends and family spoke of her with such honor.  Such deep admiration.  Everyone recognized her presence and her "beyond her years" gifts.  She was a creative soul.  She was a visionary for beauty. 

One of her aunts said, "Desiree would take something that another person would throw out onto the side of the road, and recreate it into something beautiful."

Desiree pursued happiness, with a loving appetite.  She was a cheerleader to others to pursue their happiness.  She was loved, so deeply.

Desiree was the heart.  She was a reminder that we have beauty all around us.  Dewdrops glisten around her, with sparkle and light. 
She is the sunrise.

Today, my heart is so heavy -
with love and good fortune. 
I am grateful that I was able to know Briana and Desiree.

And, there is a heaviness of sorrow.
I wanted more time to know both of them.
Earthly time.


Their time was short, but full.