When Cathy posted her photo of the beautiful sunrise she caught this week, it made me think of an idea I created a couple of years ago: painting your life's canvas.
I was sitting in the church. A funeral for a friend who lost her long, 15 year battle with cancer. The church was packed with people. It was a tough funeral to attend. While listening to the pastor, I looked around the room and thought, "Karen left a swipe of color on every life in here, and her color will never be duplicated on anyone's canvas."
And that's how the idea started. I imagine a living canvas. Everyone who touches our life has their own color, their personal hue that is left on our canvas. Some people are a part of our life and leave large sweeping strokes of color. Others wash over our canvas boldly. There are friends who splash, splatter, and swish. There are people we meet on our life path that may leave only one streak of their color, but even one streak adds to the overall picture. Our canvas continues to grow, making room for as many colors as we're lucky enough to encounter.
I want to paint my life. In my mind's eye, I can see how the painting would look. I can think of a person, and a color will swirl and form in my head. The way I'd add it to my painting would be as individualized as each person who is a part, or has been a part, of my life. Some people, I'd use a feather to brush fleeting strokes of color. Some would be a watery, translucent color, almost undetectable to another viewer, but to me, I'd know what it represented on my life masterpiece. Of course, there would be colors that stood out above all others, large, bold, comforting, rich in depth.
I feel blessed that my canvas is large and growing. I know the colors of my people. My painting is a watercolor of beautiful, rich hues. There are some small brush marks that I would not want to have missing from the large backdrop. There are some powerfully strong swipes from a large brush of love, guidance, and happy times. My canvas grows. A part of it might look like this..........
The sun is filled with ice and gives no warmth at all The skies, were never blue. The stars are raindrops looking for a place to fall, And, I never cared for you.
Tuesday night, September 14, 2010. Hanford Fox Theater. Willie again. He didn't feel 100%. I know Willie. He gave. He smiled. He played with as much passion as he could stir. But, I know he needs a break. He needs a rest, but he doesn't want to stop long enough to let his 77 years find him.
I started my one-sided love affair with Willie in 1976 with the purchase of the Red-Headed Stranger LP (his music was recommended to me by my cousin, Geoff). His music and the tones of his voice spiraled right into my soul, and my love sprouted. Over the years, in learning about and listening to Willie, I believe we are kindred spirits of Mexican past lives. It leaks out in some of his music. He did a movie called Barbarosa that very much embraced Mexican culture. This culture speaks to my soul in the same way Willie's voice does. My draw to both feels instinctual to me.
My Willie timeline:
1978 - first Willie concert in Lake Tahoe. I was sure he was singing "If You Could Touch Her At All" directly to me. Really. I believe.
1979 - Santa Cruz Fairgrounds. Willie Nelson and Maria Muldaur. I went with Daryl. I wore heart-shaped sunglasses so Willie would know I loved him. Daryl was a little embarrassed, I think. This is a picture Daryl took at that concert, enlarged it to an 8x10 and gave to me for my birthday that year. I treasured this picture.
1980 - Santa Cruz Fairgrounds again! Again, Daryl and I attended. Jane Fonda introduced Willie that year. Saw Willie on Sunday afternoon and drove home after the concert. The next evening, he was in Paso Robles at the Midstate Fair. I don't remember why my friend, Cheryl, had an extra ticket, but I was beyond thrilled to be seeing Willie two nights in a row!!! At this concert, Cheryl and I worked our way to the front row and we were able to shake his hand. The screams heard around the world.
1981 - Harrahs Reno. That was a fun trip! Reno for Willie, next day Tahoe. I met some really fun guys in Tahoe and ran all over town with them. (guardian angels were definitely working overtime with me). We were in some club/bar and Stephen Stills was there, so he got up and sang onstage. It was surreal.
(1981 was my first time seeing Waylon Jennings, but not with Willie.)
1982 - Anthony, then my boyfriend, was in Los Angeles at the bartenders' convention. He was sitting in the Hollywood Sheraton one night, and Willie Nelson came in with some of his band. Anthony offered to buy him a drink. Willie ordered a margarita. They chatted. Anthony told him that he had a girlfriend who was a big fan, and that she would leave him for Willie. Anthony also told him that I would leave him if he didn't get an autograph for me from Willie.
Then I went through a Willie drought. As much as I love him, I don't want to see him perform in big, crowded venues. I just couldn't stand it.
Fast forward to 1994. Tulare Fairgrounds. I went with my friend, Pini. We hung around the busses. We tried to get onto one of the busses. No luck. They were letting some radio call-in winners board the bus to meet Willie. Didn't they know who I was!?!?
1998 - Visalia Conference Center. Anthony and I went to his concert with Mr. and Mrs. Villa. Mrs. Villa was my mentor as a teacher. Mr. Villa, the first principal I worked for. They were already retired. We had a really good time at this concert. Old crowd. Anthony and I cracked up when the lady in front of us walked in, wearing a mink stole! I guess to her, a Willie Nelson concert is a very special occasion!
2005 - Pozo, California. Google it. Crazy little saloon, outdoor venue down the backroads of Santa Margarita. Bryan and Theanna Hightower took me to this Willie concert. I've known Bryan since he was about 9 years old. His mom is a friend of mine. He called me and said, "I'm in line to get tickets for Willie Nelson, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather see him with than you!" This was only 5 months after Anthony passed away. We went to the concert in a hummer limo, with a bunch of 20somethings. That was a Sunday.
2005 - On Wednesday of the same week, I already had tickets to see Willie at the Hanford Fox Theater. Pini and Yvonne went with me. The acoustics in the Fox Theater make it a fantastic place to see any musician.
2006 - Willie at the Tachi Palace. I wasn't going to go to this concert out of protest. Willie was the opening act!! That is insulting!!! He was opening for John Fogherty. Are you kidding me??? When my friend, Louie, got great front section, tribal area tickets, I couldn't say no. As we arrived, Willie was already playing (ugh, don't get me started on the Palace's entrance organization!!)... we were about 6 rows back from the stage. I waved to Willie as we found our seats, and he waved to me. At the end of the concert, I ran to the stage to tell him I love him, and he threw his bandana to me. I went back to my seat, bandana in hand, and sniffed it. Louie was disgusted.
2010 - Myles was a great date. We had a grand time. I hope to see Willie again.
