I have a song in my head, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Don't you think we all have a song list we wish we could sing? Really sing. Here's the beginning of my list:
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland style
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Bruddah Iz style
Ave Maria
Crazy
In My Life
Livin' On the Edge
(probably all the songs I have playing on this blog)
thinking, singing, humming...... what are your songs?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Stockings Are Hung
A few years ago, I was not having a good holiday season. It was the last week of school before vacation, and I was in survival mode, amidst children deserving of their Christmas high energy. It was after lunch, and it was time to read "Polar Express" to the students. Reading after lunch is truly calming to the students, and equally calming to me. I'm always amazed,but privately pleased, that I have students unfamiliar with this heartwarming Christmas story. I love witnessing the thrill of this story. After I'd finished reading, we started talking about our Santa beliefs (always a fascinating conversation with 8 year olds). One student said, "Santa doesn't come to Stratford." He said it so matter-of-factly, no hint of sadness, just stating the facts. I showed complete surprise and disbelieve!! "What?!? What do you mean, Santa doesn't come to Stratford?!" And his response.... "We don't have chimneys."
And my story sprouted.
I told them that Santa knew how to get into all homes, afterall, he was Santa!! He especially has close ties with schools, since they are places where large groups of children congregate. Getting into a classroom is small potatoes for Santa. So, we glittered our names on stockings (need I tell you that the Dollar Store is a Godsend to teachers?!?) and hung them before leaving on our winter break. The children were true believers that Santa would deliver.
Another story sprouted.
I told my students that my father had found a bell on Christmas morning, many years ago. I explained my father's age at my birth, so he would be over 100 years old if he were still alive!!! Wow!!! Stories that happen a long time ago are much more believable! My dad's parents didn't have a lot of money, so toys were out of the question at Christmas.... Christmas was a few gifts, mostly important items like socks, a toothbrush, maybe some hard candy. And, in those days, Santa only gifted the basics.
My story unfolded, as I described my father and his little sister, my aunt, playing outside on Christmas morning. They were playing when something glistened and caught my father's eye. He went to investigate, and discovered this bell on the ground. He and his sister where thrilled, since this was the closest thing to a toy they had. They were sure it was a gift intended especially for them! The bell, just like the bell in the Polar Express, could only be heard by my father and his little sister. His parents were not able to hear the tinkling sound, and they thought it was just a silly piece of metal. But, my father and his sister knew exactly where it had come from.... it was from Santa's sleigh! That was the only explanation! They lived way out in the country, no neighbors, no one had visited their home!
I told my students that when I was about 8 or 9 years old, I heard kids talking on the playground, questioning the existence of Santa. I went home a little sad that day, and asked my dad, "Daddy? Is Santa real?"
He took me into his bedroom and climbed up on a chair to reach something way in the back of his closet. He brought before me, a beautiful box. It was red, with black velvet lining, and wrapped in linen handkerchief was a bell. The bell.
My story grew, right before my needing students. I was on a roll! I looked out at the faces of 8 year olds, who really wanted to know that their teacher believed in Santa. I told them, to this day I have that bell that my father found. And, each year, I ring it for my son, who is now an adult. And each year, we continue to hear it's tinkling sound, and we laugh, clap, and rejoice in our belief!
I told that class that I would bring the bell to school the following day.
When I arrived, I was greeted by anxious students running my way, wanting to know only one thing.... did I bring the bell?! Yes, and we'll ring it in class.
Once in class, I opened the box with careful drama. I gingerly lifted the bell out, and at once, I was surrounded by gasps. I held it up, holding it so the clacker would move at the precise moment I needed the sound. There were smiles, wide eyes, and even a few tentative faces.... I'm sure worried they wouldn't hear the bell. Then, I slowly started to move the bell, until we started to hear the tinkling. "I hear it!!!!" "Do you still hear it, Mrs. Wiens?!" The room exploded in cheers and validation. YES! Santa lives!!! I knew it!!!!
We ran all over the school, from adult to adult. The children would ask, "Do you here this?" Of course! Happy squeals, cartwheels, jumping. Then, one of my students asked me, "Do the deaf students hear the bell?" I answered, "Well, I'm pretty sure they do, but maybe not in the way we do. I think they might hear it in their heart. Let's go see." The Deaf and Hard of Hearing class was outside, and I found Brian, one student who wore a hearing aid, and I knew he had some hearing. One of my students went to him with the bell and rang it. "Do you hear this?" Brian signed, "Yeah, I hear it."
It was a done deal.
So, today, I read the story. I shared the bell. And, for another year, my students lifted my holiday spirit. They believe without question. Their reactions come from a place of purity.
And in my room is a giant letter to Santa. For, he will come to our class while we are on vacation. He will leave toys and goodies in each students' stocking. And in his goodness, he will grant our letter's wish. When my students dig into their stockings on their return to school in January, each of them will delight in the discovery of a single silver bell in the toe of their stocking.
My heart believes.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Angel Pen
There's this kind of writing, it's called automatic writing. I didn't invent it, it's been around for a long, long time. But, I did it without really knowing it had a name. I called it Angel Writing. I have a journal that I call my angel journal, and, though I haven't written in it lately, I'd write my thoughts, plans, questions, whatever was pressing on my mind. Thoughts that needed to be unleashed. One day, I was heavy with "thoughts" and I wrote in a sort of disengaged way. It felt like I removed myself, started to write, and just let thoughts flow. I didn't interrupt myself for clarity or sense, I just wrote. What flowed actually seemed to be a communication from my angels, because at some point, I no longer felt like I was writing, I felt like someone was talking to me on the paper. The entire writing was completed in just minutes, pretty much as long as it took to get the letter/words/sentences onto the paper. I hope I'm not scaring you (the phantom reader).
I just revisited my angel journal, and read one of my entries. I'm going to be brave and share what was written. Unabrigdged. As it was written.
March 25, 2008
The realness of universal light and love, the gifts of all lightworkers ~ are as true as God. If one can believe and marvel at the person gifted with a voice that inspires, if we accept the gifted blessing of intellectual discoveries and achievements that benefit man, if we are stunned by the varieties of artistic expressions, then it is true that there are blessed on this earth, from the universe of love and goodness, lightworkers as I am, who can inspire, teach, warm, love, guide, and heal through our God gifted energies.
This is also in God's truth. God gave us the Garden of Eden. His Earth that would provide all we need to live our best. It is still here. We remain in the Garden of Eden, we just need to open our eyes. This Earth provides, we provide to one another, God, angels, and universe provide to our souls. It is here, we are within the web of physical, emotional, and spiritual life.
Stay safe, but travel with glee on the flowing changes through life. You will see it all, the beauty, the joy, the pain, tears, laughter, birth, death ~ all part of the flow, which still remains beautiful with light and love. There is even light in the middle of the night. Even if dim, it still remains. Don't forget. Even if clouds cover it, the guiding lights glow.
I just revisited my angel journal, and read one of my entries. I'm going to be brave and share what was written. Unabrigdged. As it was written.
March 25, 2008
The realness of universal light and love, the gifts of all lightworkers ~ are as true as God. If one can believe and marvel at the person gifted with a voice that inspires, if we accept the gifted blessing of intellectual discoveries and achievements that benefit man, if we are stunned by the varieties of artistic expressions, then it is true that there are blessed on this earth, from the universe of love and goodness, lightworkers as I am, who can inspire, teach, warm, love, guide, and heal through our God gifted energies.
This is also in God's truth. God gave us the Garden of Eden. His Earth that would provide all we need to live our best. It is still here. We remain in the Garden of Eden, we just need to open our eyes. This Earth provides, we provide to one another, God, angels, and universe provide to our souls. It is here, we are within the web of physical, emotional, and spiritual life.
Stay safe, but travel with glee on the flowing changes through life. You will see it all, the beauty, the joy, the pain, tears, laughter, birth, death ~ all part of the flow, which still remains beautiful with light and love. There is even light in the middle of the night. Even if dim, it still remains. Don't forget. Even if clouds cover it, the guiding lights glow.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Morning Wall of Happy
These are my rainbow faeries. The prism I have hanging in the window casts the most vividly glorious rainbows all over the wall and the floor. When I'm walking out from my bedroom, ready to leave for work, I always stop in my tracks to gaze at their encouraging spirit of happiness. "Good morning, my rainbow faeries!" I can almost hear them giggling and warming my soul for the day ahead of me. Some days I stand so I have a rainbow on my face, or on my heart. This HAS to be a good thing. It feels good. Sometimes I hold a rainbow in my hand or let it cast onto my bare foot.
I discovered that as the world changes its tilt, I lose them. I'll have to try different spots in the house, because I miss their daily greetings. They just returned in the last month. Hmmmm, they are seasonal!!!
The picture doesn't do them justice. Come over and see them. You'll be uplifted.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
"turn right, and see if it takes you anywhere"
"You can turn right, and see if it takes you anywhere"
These directions were given to Cathy and me when we were driving into Ojai. We knew we were in for a magical time. In fact, this became our weekend mantra. I'm thinking, it ranks right up there with some other well known directions:
....Follow the yellow brick road....
....Second star to the right and straight 'til morning....
....You, who are on the road, must have a code, that you can live by....
....The long and winding road....
Our time together was what we hoped it to be. Laughs, ease, familiarity, laughs, reconnecting. Did I mention laughs?
We both loved Ojai. Really. It was a town that seemed to signify "us". Easy, earthy, friendly, warm, a glowing energy. We were meant for that place, and it was meant for us. We found treasures. We'll return. Imsojai. We'resojai. Only one person flipped me off. Must have been an out-of-towner. Back at ya, dude.
I cleansed my crystals in the Pacific Ocean. Cathy went all baptismal mermaid on me.
We saw sea elephants and zebras (really... no hallucinogens involved). We didn't see Sergeant Pepper.
Bugs in the room. Okay, only 1 was spotted, but we both know they travel in tribes. People hanging around the motel... "tell me about your clientele. Is everyone a paying customer?"
I'll continue this later.
These directions were given to Cathy and me when we were driving into Ojai. We knew we were in for a magical time. In fact, this became our weekend mantra. I'm thinking, it ranks right up there with some other well known directions:
....Follow the yellow brick road....
....Second star to the right and straight 'til morning....
....You, who are on the road, must have a code, that you can live by....
....The long and winding road....
Our time together was what we hoped it to be. Laughs, ease, familiarity, laughs, reconnecting. Did I mention laughs?
We both loved Ojai. Really. It was a town that seemed to signify "us". Easy, earthy, friendly, warm, a glowing energy. We were meant for that place, and it was meant for us. We found treasures. We'll return. Imsojai. We'resojai. Only one person flipped me off. Must have been an out-of-towner. Back at ya, dude.
I cleansed my crystals in the Pacific Ocean. Cathy went all baptismal mermaid on me.
We saw sea elephants and zebras (really... no hallucinogens involved). We didn't see Sergeant Pepper.
Bugs in the room. Okay, only 1 was spotted, but we both know they travel in tribes. People hanging around the motel... "tell me about your clientele. Is everyone a paying customer?"
I'll continue this later.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
leaving the flock
Today, my heart was touched by a student. He is in the severely handicapped class. Deeply autistic. Locked inside himself, surrounded by a world that is fast-moving, confusing, and often frightening.
I was taking both 3rd grade classes to PE. Our campus has security fences (don't even get me started) around the entire school, so for our class to get out to the track, I have to unlock one of the gates. When we arrived, there was this lone student, from the SpEd class. I looked around, searching for the rest of his class. But the kids and teacher were nowhere to be seen. This was extremely unusual, because these students are under constant supervision, and someone is always holding their hand when they go anywhere.
I was trying to get the gate unlocked, and my little friend was making strange yipping noises. No words, no eye contact. I wasn't sure if the noises were stressful or gleeful. But, I knew he wanted out/in. I finally got the gate unlocked, and took him by the hand. I knew that this could go one of two ways. I was a stranger to him, unless somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he had me filed as a teacher. Taking his hand could send him into flight mode, and then I'd have a runner on my hands. Luckily, he allowed me to hold his hand. Actually, he seemed to be bothered by hand to hand contact. I held his wrist. He resisted a little bit, but I believe that he "knew" I was okay.
I had 32 other students with me. My aide had gone ahead to set up the activity in the gym. Something in the other kids registered that this was not the time to riot. Something told them that I had to give all my attention to this little boy. So, both 3rd grade classes walked with me, while I decided what to do.
I walked him to the gym, looking for his class. The gym was empty. He stayed with me, pulling a few times, but I gently held on to him; loose enough to allow him some space, but firm enough to keep him close. Then I felt something. I felt him holding MY hand. He was holding on to me too. We had personal contact! My aide returned, so I left him with the "flock", while I took the one lone sheep back to his own meadow. We walked quietly, and without thought or plan, I hummed to him. We walked together, me soothingly humming, this quiet little guy at my side.
I felt like walking on and on, holding hands, void of conversation. I stroked the top of his head and whispered, "It's alright." He seemed so fragile and so gentle. As we approached his classroom, his teacher and the aide were just coming out of the room. The aide looked pretty rattled. She'd had "a runner" and she'd darted off after that one, while this little guy wandered. She thanked me and took his other hand. I felt him hold on to my hand more tightly. He pulled me with him, until the aide released his hand from mine. I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to go to class with him and watch his day. But, my flock was waiting.
I was taking both 3rd grade classes to PE. Our campus has security fences (don't even get me started) around the entire school, so for our class to get out to the track, I have to unlock one of the gates. When we arrived, there was this lone student, from the SpEd class. I looked around, searching for the rest of his class. But the kids and teacher were nowhere to be seen. This was extremely unusual, because these students are under constant supervision, and someone is always holding their hand when they go anywhere.
I was trying to get the gate unlocked, and my little friend was making strange yipping noises. No words, no eye contact. I wasn't sure if the noises were stressful or gleeful. But, I knew he wanted out/in. I finally got the gate unlocked, and took him by the hand. I knew that this could go one of two ways. I was a stranger to him, unless somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he had me filed as a teacher. Taking his hand could send him into flight mode, and then I'd have a runner on my hands. Luckily, he allowed me to hold his hand. Actually, he seemed to be bothered by hand to hand contact. I held his wrist. He resisted a little bit, but I believe that he "knew" I was okay.
I had 32 other students with me. My aide had gone ahead to set up the activity in the gym. Something in the other kids registered that this was not the time to riot. Something told them that I had to give all my attention to this little boy. So, both 3rd grade classes walked with me, while I decided what to do.
I walked him to the gym, looking for his class. The gym was empty. He stayed with me, pulling a few times, but I gently held on to him; loose enough to allow him some space, but firm enough to keep him close. Then I felt something. I felt him holding MY hand. He was holding on to me too. We had personal contact! My aide returned, so I left him with the "flock", while I took the one lone sheep back to his own meadow. We walked quietly, and without thought or plan, I hummed to him. We walked together, me soothingly humming, this quiet little guy at my side.
I felt like walking on and on, holding hands, void of conversation. I stroked the top of his head and whispered, "It's alright." He seemed so fragile and so gentle. As we approached his classroom, his teacher and the aide were just coming out of the room. The aide looked pretty rattled. She'd had "a runner" and she'd darted off after that one, while this little guy wandered. She thanked me and took his other hand. I felt him hold on to my hand more tightly. He pulled me with him, until the aide released his hand from mine. I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to go to class with him and watch his day. But, my flock was waiting.
flu report
So far, so good. I must have just been overly tired last Friday. Still taking Vitamin C everyday, drinking Airborne when I think of it, and yesterday bought zinc to add to the growing meal of vitamins. My collegues laugh at my cup of vitamins I have with lunch.... B1, Vit.C, calcium, magnesium, fish oil, osteo biflex... I spend more time downing the supplements than I spend eating my lunch.
Weather is supposed to drop a good chunk today. Everyone was getting irritated with the extended heat. Am I the only person who remembers that September is NOT fall weather? Everyone is always so surprised when the weather stays hot through September!! October has a wonderful personality, very tempermental. October does whatever the hell it feels like doing. October does not box itself in, it is not predictable. I like October.
Weather is supposed to drop a good chunk today. Everyone was getting irritated with the extended heat. Am I the only person who remembers that September is NOT fall weather? Everyone is always so surprised when the weather stays hot through September!! October has a wonderful personality, very tempermental. October does whatever the hell it feels like doing. October does not box itself in, it is not predictable. I like October.
Friday, September 25, 2009
flu outbreak
Our school has been plagued with "the flu". Our school nurse thinks it's the H1N1. Whatever it is, it's knocking 'em down hard. I had 5 kids sick, and none of them were back in fewer than 4 days. One first grade teacher has had 12 out of 22 hit with it! I think about 25% of our students have been sick this past week and a half. One 1st grade class coined a new term... the "handitizer"... the hand sanitizer dispsenser that has now been installed in each classroom!! The term makes perfect sense, doesn't it??
Presently, I'm not feeling so hot. I'm not exactly sure if I'm plain old tired or the "beginning of something" tired. I really want to go to bed, but I'm afraid. I don't want those aches and flu things to start picquing during the night, while I'm trying to find my deep, comforting slumber. So, I'm staying up until I can no longer keep my eyes open (which presently feels like only 7 minutes). Then, I'll drag myself, eyes half mast, droopy-armed, to bed and flop.
I also know that, traditionally, I get sick sometime during the end of September. I don't know if it's my annual "Attack of the New Group" germfest, when my body has to build new immunities to the current class... or.... a seasonal, valley thing. But, more Septembers than not, I get sick. I try not to. I take vitamin C. I get to bed early. I eat as well as I can (okay, I could probably eat better). I took Airborne tonight. I wash my hands a LOT. And I try to not breathe when kids are around. That one's tough.
I really don't want to be sick. The worst part is having to create lesson plans for a sub for more than one day. I hate doing lesson plans for subs!! Really hate it. Most teachers do. We'll go to work sick, rather than create lesson plans... they're such a pain.
I'm tired enough now. I'm going to bed. I'm going to take a crystal to bed and tuck it under my pillow. Strength. Can't hurt. Damn... and I was planning on getting my first flu shot this Wednesday!
Presently, I'm not feeling so hot. I'm not exactly sure if I'm plain old tired or the "beginning of something" tired. I really want to go to bed, but I'm afraid. I don't want those aches and flu things to start picquing during the night, while I'm trying to find my deep, comforting slumber. So, I'm staying up until I can no longer keep my eyes open (which presently feels like only 7 minutes). Then, I'll drag myself, eyes half mast, droopy-armed, to bed and flop.
I also know that, traditionally, I get sick sometime during the end of September. I don't know if it's my annual "Attack of the New Group" germfest, when my body has to build new immunities to the current class... or.... a seasonal, valley thing. But, more Septembers than not, I get sick. I try not to. I take vitamin C. I get to bed early. I eat as well as I can (okay, I could probably eat better). I took Airborne tonight. I wash my hands a LOT. And I try to not breathe when kids are around. That one's tough.
I really don't want to be sick. The worst part is having to create lesson plans for a sub for more than one day. I hate doing lesson plans for subs!! Really hate it. Most teachers do. We'll go to work sick, rather than create lesson plans... they're such a pain.
I'm tired enough now. I'm going to bed. I'm going to take a crystal to bed and tuck it under my pillow. Strength. Can't hurt. Damn... and I was planning on getting my first flu shot this Wednesday!
Monday, September 21, 2009
token post
I've come here a number of times, with the intent to post something. I guess, lately, I've just felt flat and uninspired to share any thoughts, feelings, or experiences. I'm without expression.
Honestly, I'm working very hard, mentally, to avoid this school year from sucking the life out of me. It's turning out to be difficult. Yes and no, the kids aren't the easiest bunch to teach. Extremely distractable and immature. If I knew I could wait it out, because during the school year, they'll mature (somewhat), and after some maturing, I could do some SUPER teaching, I'd be a bit more relaxed. But, testing pressures, or should I say, SCORING pressures, has done a real number on squeezing a lot of joy out of this job. The powers that be don't seem to acknowledge that their scoring goals are measuring real life children. I don't have time to wait for nature. I have to CREATE a new, testable nature! I have to push against the nature for some of these kids. Oh, and believe me, some of them will push back.
I'm already stressing out. I'm trying to stay calm, find the middle where I can hold on to my own philosophies, values, and truths, yet work at producing what is required of my students and me.
I'm stressed that it is early Monday morning, and the thought of a new week is tiring me out, already.
I need to breathe.
I'm going to take a bath this morning. Do a little mind traveling.
I want to stay home and hide.
Honestly, I'm working very hard, mentally, to avoid this school year from sucking the life out of me. It's turning out to be difficult. Yes and no, the kids aren't the easiest bunch to teach. Extremely distractable and immature. If I knew I could wait it out, because during the school year, they'll mature (somewhat), and after some maturing, I could do some SUPER teaching, I'd be a bit more relaxed. But, testing pressures, or should I say, SCORING pressures, has done a real number on squeezing a lot of joy out of this job. The powers that be don't seem to acknowledge that their scoring goals are measuring real life children. I don't have time to wait for nature. I have to CREATE a new, testable nature! I have to push against the nature for some of these kids. Oh, and believe me, some of them will push back.
I'm already stressing out. I'm trying to stay calm, find the middle where I can hold on to my own philosophies, values, and truths, yet work at producing what is required of my students and me.
I'm stressed that it is early Monday morning, and the thought of a new week is tiring me out, already.
I need to breathe.
I'm going to take a bath this morning. Do a little mind traveling.
I want to stay home and hide.
Friday, September 11, 2009
My annoying disorder
This is not a medical disorder. It's more of an OCD disorder. I've just recently noticed myself doing this, and I have no idea how long I've been doing it. I'm aware of it, yet I still do it. Okay..... here it is. I hum "The Chicken Dance" when I'm in the shower, and while I'm getting ready in the morning. Why do I do this?!?!?! When did this start, and WHY the chicken dance?!!??
It gets worse. I not only hum the chicken dance, but I hum it in a cheesy, lounge singer style. Ugh! Really, I do this. I hate it. It's never another song. It happens. Every day. Every shower. I have no idea how long ago this started, but it's completely annoying. I do it, subconsciously, until I become consciously aware of it. I've TRIED to change tunes, but for some reason, this is the tune that keeps me moving through my morning routine.
Crap. The chicken dance??? THE CHICKEN DANCE?!?!? Are you kidding me???
It gets worse. I not only hum the chicken dance, but I hum it in a cheesy, lounge singer style. Ugh! Really, I do this. I hate it. It's never another song. It happens. Every day. Every shower. I have no idea how long ago this started, but it's completely annoying. I do it, subconsciously, until I become consciously aware of it. I've TRIED to change tunes, but for some reason, this is the tune that keeps me moving through my morning routine.
Crap. The chicken dance??? THE CHICKEN DANCE?!?!? Are you kidding me???
Monday, September 7, 2009
California Adventure
Cathy,
Search Ojai, California. I think this is where we need to explore together. I haven't been there, but I feel like I need to go there with you in October. We can travel along the coast, pretend we're California explorers, and continue our journey of imagination. Are you game?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Opening Day
Yesterday was opening day of dove season. This was the biggest day of the year in our family, when Anthony was here. There was great preparation the night before, then awake at 4 am on September 1, to meet up with the other hunters, for a day of shooting and testosterone spiked camraderie.
It was hysterical to watch the dogs go crazy, simply at the sight of Anthony taking out the guns. Yogi especially. When Anthony entered the living room with gun in tow, Yogi would run back and forth, from living room to garage door. He knew what that gun meant, and he loved hunting with Anthony. He was a tireless dog, willing to push it as long as Anthony wanted to hunt. Missy, on the other hand, wasn't as enthusiastic a hunter. Anthony said she was more distracted by the other dogs, and behaved as if she really didn't like carrying birds in her mouth. Hello, Missy!!! You're a weimaraner!!! You're bred for this!!! Oh well.
Anthony was also the camp chef for all the men, so the night before opening day, I was his prep chef. As he got his guns ready, vest packed with shotgun shells, and ice chest cleaned, I was cutting Monterey Jack cheese into small cubes, only big enough to fit into the breast of a dove. De-seeding jalapenos, careful not to rub my eye during the process. The first year I did this, I quickly learned it was important to wear gloves, because the juice ate away at the tips of my fingers until they were raw. I cut pounds and pounds of bacon into 4 inch slices, peeled garlic cloves and packed everything into tidy plastic containers that would travel to a location unknown to me.
The alarm would go off sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am... I would make sure Anthony was awake, then stay awake long enough to wave from the garage door as he drove off with Rocky and Jake, almost in giggles... THEM, not me!!! My favorite part of opening day, was closing the garage door behind them, and knowing I would have a day of quiet to myself.
Jake was always a part of this annual adventure, and learned to look forward to it and revel in it as much as his dad. In fact, the first opening day, after Anthony had died, it warmed my heart at the number of men who called here for Jake, to be sure he was included in the event, and had a place to hunt. Even more than that, Jake insisted we get all the ingredients because HE was going to take over his dad's role as the chef. So, for Jake, I sliced bacon, cubed cheese, deseeded jalapenos, and peeled garlic. I was so proud of him.
Anthony took Jake dove hunting the first time when Jake was only 3 1/2. We didn't have any of our hunting dogs yet, so I think he was going to teach Jake to "retrieve." He told Jake to pick up the bird, carry it to the bucket, and put it into the bucket. As Jake was carrying it, he kept saying to his dad, "It wants to fly!" Anthony assured Jake the bird no longer wanted to fly, but Jake said it a couple more times. When Jake put the bird into the bucket, lo and behold, it flapped a couple of times, then fluttered it's way out of there!!! LOL I guess Anthony had only stunned it, yet Jake did as his dad instructed, even though the bird was trying to fly away from him!
Jake went out yesterday, as his own man. This year he did not join his dad's croonies. This year, Jake had his own invitation from someone who owns "good" property. Jake came over to get the shotgun out of our gun safe. This year, I did not go with Jake so he could buy his hunting license or shells. This year, Jake hunted as his own man. And, I knew not to call him last night, because he would be asleep. Exhausted from getting up at 4 am to be out in the field as the sun rose.
I hope Anthony watched his son. His "best boy" as he always called him. His man.
It was hysterical to watch the dogs go crazy, simply at the sight of Anthony taking out the guns. Yogi especially. When Anthony entered the living room with gun in tow, Yogi would run back and forth, from living room to garage door. He knew what that gun meant, and he loved hunting with Anthony. He was a tireless dog, willing to push it as long as Anthony wanted to hunt. Missy, on the other hand, wasn't as enthusiastic a hunter. Anthony said she was more distracted by the other dogs, and behaved as if she really didn't like carrying birds in her mouth. Hello, Missy!!! You're a weimaraner!!! You're bred for this!!! Oh well.
Anthony was also the camp chef for all the men, so the night before opening day, I was his prep chef. As he got his guns ready, vest packed with shotgun shells, and ice chest cleaned, I was cutting Monterey Jack cheese into small cubes, only big enough to fit into the breast of a dove. De-seeding jalapenos, careful not to rub my eye during the process. The first year I did this, I quickly learned it was important to wear gloves, because the juice ate away at the tips of my fingers until they were raw. I cut pounds and pounds of bacon into 4 inch slices, peeled garlic cloves and packed everything into tidy plastic containers that would travel to a location unknown to me.
The alarm would go off sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am... I would make sure Anthony was awake, then stay awake long enough to wave from the garage door as he drove off with Rocky and Jake, almost in giggles... THEM, not me!!! My favorite part of opening day, was closing the garage door behind them, and knowing I would have a day of quiet to myself.
Jake was always a part of this annual adventure, and learned to look forward to it and revel in it as much as his dad. In fact, the first opening day, after Anthony had died, it warmed my heart at the number of men who called here for Jake, to be sure he was included in the event, and had a place to hunt. Even more than that, Jake insisted we get all the ingredients because HE was going to take over his dad's role as the chef. So, for Jake, I sliced bacon, cubed cheese, deseeded jalapenos, and peeled garlic. I was so proud of him.
Anthony took Jake dove hunting the first time when Jake was only 3 1/2. We didn't have any of our hunting dogs yet, so I think he was going to teach Jake to "retrieve." He told Jake to pick up the bird, carry it to the bucket, and put it into the bucket. As Jake was carrying it, he kept saying to his dad, "It wants to fly!" Anthony assured Jake the bird no longer wanted to fly, but Jake said it a couple more times. When Jake put the bird into the bucket, lo and behold, it flapped a couple of times, then fluttered it's way out of there!!! LOL I guess Anthony had only stunned it, yet Jake did as his dad instructed, even though the bird was trying to fly away from him!
Jake went out yesterday, as his own man. This year he did not join his dad's croonies. This year, Jake had his own invitation from someone who owns "good" property. Jake came over to get the shotgun out of our gun safe. This year, I did not go with Jake so he could buy his hunting license or shells. This year, Jake hunted as his own man. And, I knew not to call him last night, because he would be asleep. Exhausted from getting up at 4 am to be out in the field as the sun rose.
I hope Anthony watched his son. His "best boy" as he always called him. His man.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The Joy of Color
My kitchen has recently been introduced into the 21st century. Prior to my renovations, it had been stuck in retro 80's decor. Earthy tan countertop tile and dark, seen better days, cabinets. The oven was the original cooking contraption installed in 1981, before I was the owner, and the frig was the white frig Anthony and I bought in 1988 for $500. I knew the frig was still working on good spirit, and it's days were drawing close to an end. The only thing that saved the oven was the fact that I cooked so infrequently!
So, this year, starting in January, I updated the kitchen. Not one of those $50,000 jobs you see on HGTV. I had a budget, but even better than that... I have Myles, who is extremely talented and eager to make something less costly, scream out it's best features. I know that stainless is the current trend for appliances, but in my budget research, purchasing all black appliances would save me about $500. Black it is. I bought all Kitchenaid appliances, receiving a $200 rebate for buying 3 appliances. I bought generic cabinets from Lowes, in which Myles painted within an inch of their lives, he installed nice hardware, increasing their look of value. I applied for a Lowe's credit card, put the cabinets, hardware, and paint on the card, promised to pay it off in a year at no interest, and got an additional 20%. Oh, and I selected and ordered a quartz countertop before the end of January, which came with a promotion of a free stainless steel sink. As you see, I did my financial homework.
Patience and waiting is a very good thing, especially if you have the option of waiting to make certain decisions. Everything in the kitchen has been completed, except the backsplash. Originally, I wanted glass mosaic tile. Black. Then, I entertained the thought of tin ceiling tiles, for the "POW" factor. Hmm, maybe. Then, I turned to 4x4 tiles, not sure what color. Finally, we decided on simply painting. That doesn't rule out other materials for the future, but for right now, to complete the project, painting is the way we decided to go. Plus, after living with the kitchen for a couple of months, I knew I needed some color in there. The cabinets are a vanilla cream color, the countertops a speckled cream, root beer, and black, and the fore-mentioned black appliances. Beautiful materials and products, but already boring in color.
So, yesterday, we painted. We took the color from the kitchen into one wall of the attached living room, because there was no comfortable transition line. I love the color of my living room, a warm, very comforting grey poupon gold. I selected a cajun red for the kitchen, and one wall in the living room. Yum....... it turned out gloriously warm and rich, the colors together creating an Italian warmth that is envelopes you, like the deep breast of a loving Italian mama.
I have some Italian plates, that, when placed against the walls, look absolutely gorgeous. Even though there is a lot of Italian influence in the colors and decor (thanks Nanu and Nana), the depth of the Cajun Red, reminds me of a rich, Indian spice. I now will be in search of curtains or fabric, with an Indian print. Maybe a batik look, a light fabric.
I'm patient. I'll live without until I find just what I want, and within my price.
Now... to learn to cook in this updated kitchen! I really need a decent camera, so I can post pics!
So, this year, starting in January, I updated the kitchen. Not one of those $50,000 jobs you see on HGTV. I had a budget, but even better than that... I have Myles, who is extremely talented and eager to make something less costly, scream out it's best features. I know that stainless is the current trend for appliances, but in my budget research, purchasing all black appliances would save me about $500. Black it is. I bought all Kitchenaid appliances, receiving a $200 rebate for buying 3 appliances. I bought generic cabinets from Lowes, in which Myles painted within an inch of their lives, he installed nice hardware, increasing their look of value. I applied for a Lowe's credit card, put the cabinets, hardware, and paint on the card, promised to pay it off in a year at no interest, and got an additional 20%. Oh, and I selected and ordered a quartz countertop before the end of January, which came with a promotion of a free stainless steel sink. As you see, I did my financial homework.
Patience and waiting is a very good thing, especially if you have the option of waiting to make certain decisions. Everything in the kitchen has been completed, except the backsplash. Originally, I wanted glass mosaic tile. Black. Then, I entertained the thought of tin ceiling tiles, for the "POW" factor. Hmm, maybe. Then, I turned to 4x4 tiles, not sure what color. Finally, we decided on simply painting. That doesn't rule out other materials for the future, but for right now, to complete the project, painting is the way we decided to go. Plus, after living with the kitchen for a couple of months, I knew I needed some color in there. The cabinets are a vanilla cream color, the countertops a speckled cream, root beer, and black, and the fore-mentioned black appliances. Beautiful materials and products, but already boring in color.
So, yesterday, we painted. We took the color from the kitchen into one wall of the attached living room, because there was no comfortable transition line. I love the color of my living room, a warm, very comforting grey poupon gold. I selected a cajun red for the kitchen, and one wall in the living room. Yum....... it turned out gloriously warm and rich, the colors together creating an Italian warmth that is envelopes you, like the deep breast of a loving Italian mama.
I have some Italian plates, that, when placed against the walls, look absolutely gorgeous. Even though there is a lot of Italian influence in the colors and decor (thanks Nanu and Nana), the depth of the Cajun Red, reminds me of a rich, Indian spice. I now will be in search of curtains or fabric, with an Indian print. Maybe a batik look, a light fabric.
I'm patient. I'll live without until I find just what I want, and within my price.
Now... to learn to cook in this updated kitchen! I really need a decent camera, so I can post pics!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Special Surprise
Disclaimer: This is a photo I took with my cell phone. It does NOT give proper credit to the magical beauty of these cards.
I felt so honored to receive a special gift from Lindsay in the mail yesterday! I'm a hog about opening a gift. I saw the package in my mailbox, and was instantly thrilled that someone sent me something "special"... other than a camouflaged sample of fabric softener, or tickets for a free dinner along with a presentation on how to manage your money!! I looked at the return address (in typical, me! me! me! fashion) and read with all the skill as one of my third graders. I read Pasco, but my brain registered Paso... so, I wondered what my niece, Paula was sending!!
Now, Paula is a dear, and VERY generous and thoughtful, but when I saw the hints of homemade and high creativity, I started to get confused. If Paula had sent a care package of baked goods, that were homemade and made with some exotic Peruvian flour, then, yes... THAT would make sense. But, crafts and creativity? My brain was finding difficulty in making sense of this special package.
Then I got it! Bingo!! It was one of Lindsay's set of flashcards!! She'd sent a set to me?!?!?! I can't begin to express how my heart filled!!! And, I'd just come home long enough to fix a cup of coffee, relax for a bit, and get a snack, only to return out to school for our Back To School Night. Perfect!! I took the flashcards with me, and draped them over the Math Center in my classroom. I was so proud to have such a "flashy" center!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, sweet Lindsay. Today, I'm sharing the attached sentiment about learning, with all the teachers. They'll love it. You are a precious soul.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Dream Parties
Apparently, I was humming tunes in my sleep last night. Myles reported this morning that a couple of times during the night, I started to hum, then I would giggle. I'm glad I was having seemingly happy dreams, because I was actually in pain all night, due to pulling or straining a muscle in my butt (or, something with a nerve). I came home from work yesterday, barely able to walk. So, in spite of being painfully restless during sleep, I was enjoying some fine times in my dreams.
I don't remember last night's dream, but I do know that I dream funny. I've awakened myself more than once, from laughing in my sleep. Deep, belly laughs! My favorite dream, that I still remember from many years ago, was one which I was walking down a beach with Huey Lewis (you know... Huey Lewis and the News). We stopped to look at this glob on the sand. He said to me, "I wonder what THAT could be?!" And I answered, "It must be the Heart of Rock and Roll." In my dream, I cracked myself up, then I woke up, still laughing at my own wittiness!!
I kill myself!! LOL I've also dreamed about meeting the King of Cartoons (from the old PeeWee Herman Playhouse Show).
I wonder if I was dreaming about a karaoke bar last night?
I don't remember last night's dream, but I do know that I dream funny. I've awakened myself more than once, from laughing in my sleep. Deep, belly laughs! My favorite dream, that I still remember from many years ago, was one which I was walking down a beach with Huey Lewis (you know... Huey Lewis and the News). We stopped to look at this glob on the sand. He said to me, "I wonder what THAT could be?!" And I answered, "It must be the Heart of Rock and Roll." In my dream, I cracked myself up, then I woke up, still laughing at my own wittiness!!
I kill myself!! LOL I've also dreamed about meeting the King of Cartoons (from the old PeeWee Herman Playhouse Show).
I wonder if I was dreaming about a karaoke bar last night?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Weird dream
Earlier this week I had a strange dream. In my dream I received a message that simply named two crystals... labradorite and lepidolite. Weird. I could hardly pronounce these names, yet in my dream, the names were very clear. I have a growing collection of crystals, and many books and websites explaining their energies, so I researched these two stones. I believe the labradorite was intended for me. Each night I ask God to make my purpose clear to me, to guide me to the next phase of my life, which I very much hope has to do with healing, helping, guiding others in some way. I feel like I have a gift, a talent, but I'm just not sure how to use it. Here is some of the information I found about labradorite:
It helps children to express their imaginations creatively.
Inspires people who feel out of touch with their gifts.
Brings creative dreams.
It eases change at work.
It shows us our real goals and intentions, so they suddenly take shape for us.
Okay, wow. Yes, I think this was a message intended for me. I then read about lepidolite, but I didn't really feel connected to it's qualities and healing attributes. It addresses help with calming and aides in sleep and restlessness. I feel pretty calm and sleeping is no issue (try spending each day with a group of 3rd graders.... sleeping is NOT an issue)
The day after this dream, my niece, Tillie, sent me an urgent text that she really needed to talk to me. Tillie is in the middle of trying to unwrap herself from a toxic relationship, and she's struggling. I tried an energy cleansing on her once, and she said it calmed her, energized her, and overall, made her feel better, and she needed me to do it again. I suggested we spend the day in Visalia, and visit the Crystal Barn, and I'd help her select some crystals to boost her energy needs. A few hours after our phone call, I returned to the information about the lepidolite, and realized, that was the stone that Tillie needed!
I researched online, trying to compose a "shopping list" for her, and I found a crystal I'd never heard of before.... Vesuvianite. The first thing I read about it was, "Very helpful in aligning the will with the heart." Bingo!! She and I needed to go on an expedition for that stone.
We really had a great day. Hallee and Brendon went with us. Brendon was really patient with this "out of the norm" excursion. Hallee was totally into it... the little Portuguese spirit she is! The Crystal Barn did not have the Vesuvianite, but they were kind enough to direct us to another place, "Gary's Jewelry and Lapidary Supplies." Very cool hole-in-the-wall place! Kind of hippy-ish, with a great selection of stones in the rough. If I ever decide to take up jewelry making, this will definitely be my spot.
My purchases:
Labradorite (rough)
2 azurite stones (rough)
1 peacock ore (rough)
1 bloodstone (polished)
1 carnelian (rough)
1 hematite ring
1 CD "Music for Reiki Attunement"
And, the best sandwich I've ever eaten (well... since the last best sandwich!) Portabello Mushroom, sauteed onions, tomato, lettuce, balsamic vinegar, and feta, on foccacia bread. SOOOO yum!!!
It was a good day.
It helps children to express their imaginations creatively.
Inspires people who feel out of touch with their gifts.
Brings creative dreams.
It eases change at work.
It shows us our real goals and intentions, so they suddenly take shape for us.
Okay, wow. Yes, I think this was a message intended for me. I then read about lepidolite, but I didn't really feel connected to it's qualities and healing attributes. It addresses help with calming and aides in sleep and restlessness. I feel pretty calm and sleeping is no issue (try spending each day with a group of 3rd graders.... sleeping is NOT an issue)
The day after this dream, my niece, Tillie, sent me an urgent text that she really needed to talk to me. Tillie is in the middle of trying to unwrap herself from a toxic relationship, and she's struggling. I tried an energy cleansing on her once, and she said it calmed her, energized her, and overall, made her feel better, and she needed me to do it again. I suggested we spend the day in Visalia, and visit the Crystal Barn, and I'd help her select some crystals to boost her energy needs. A few hours after our phone call, I returned to the information about the lepidolite, and realized, that was the stone that Tillie needed!
I researched online, trying to compose a "shopping list" for her, and I found a crystal I'd never heard of before.... Vesuvianite. The first thing I read about it was, "Very helpful in aligning the will with the heart." Bingo!! She and I needed to go on an expedition for that stone.
We really had a great day. Hallee and Brendon went with us. Brendon was really patient with this "out of the norm" excursion. Hallee was totally into it... the little Portuguese spirit she is! The Crystal Barn did not have the Vesuvianite, but they were kind enough to direct us to another place, "Gary's Jewelry and Lapidary Supplies." Very cool hole-in-the-wall place! Kind of hippy-ish, with a great selection of stones in the rough. If I ever decide to take up jewelry making, this will definitely be my spot.
My purchases:
Labradorite (rough)
2 azurite stones (rough)
1 peacock ore (rough)
1 bloodstone (polished)
1 carnelian (rough)
1 hematite ring
1 CD "Music for Reiki Attunement"
And, the best sandwich I've ever eaten (well... since the last best sandwich!) Portabello Mushroom, sauteed onions, tomato, lettuce, balsamic vinegar, and feta, on foccacia bread. SOOOO yum!!!
It was a good day.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
First Week of School
Well, we made it. By Friday, all of us were finding our comfort zones and true selves started to emerge. Every night, I went to bed thanking God for my life and gifts, then humbly asking to stay close and keep me patient and understanding. That can be very hard to do at times.
I asked for my angels to stay at my side all day long, and conference with my students' angels, so we can work as a team. I've also returned to this school year determined to rise above the negativities of some of the staff members. There is more to teaching than what occurs in Room 11, and when administrative demands don't mesh well with the truth of instructing a child, then stressed out teachers are created. I am taking a positive attitude with me each day, and coaching myself to "let it go" when glitches arise.
In the big picture? Kids are cute!!! Second day of school, while we were walking to class, one of my students said to me, "Mrs. Wiens, I heard you're good at teaching."
Hmmmm, so THAT'S the word on the playground, huh?? I wonder if he's holding out to form his own opinion? He should.
In fact, let me introduce you to this little guy. Of course, I will never disclose names in this forum. I've watched him since kindergarten. He's ADHD, and quite honestly, I'm not sure if he's on meds or not. Hispanic families are much more accepting of children's behavior than the general population, and they aren't eager to medicate their children. He's always wiggling, but in a dancing way. AND, he's always wiggling his tongue! It's almost like his tongue grew to adult size first, and he doesn't have appropriate housing for it! So, he's aware of it, and wiggles it. He actually is quite acrobatic with that tongue. It amuses me. I remember seeing him in line, when he was in 1st and 2nd..... always jumping, dancing, clapping, wiggling. Quite irritating at times, I'm sure, but I was drawn to his enthusiasm. He was bouncing around as if in pure joy for simply being at school! So, when we met with the 2nd grade teachers to make class lists, he was on the list of "challenges". I said, "I'll take him."
We'll do just fine.
I asked for my angels to stay at my side all day long, and conference with my students' angels, so we can work as a team. I've also returned to this school year determined to rise above the negativities of some of the staff members. There is more to teaching than what occurs in Room 11, and when administrative demands don't mesh well with the truth of instructing a child, then stressed out teachers are created. I am taking a positive attitude with me each day, and coaching myself to "let it go" when glitches arise.
In the big picture? Kids are cute!!! Second day of school, while we were walking to class, one of my students said to me, "Mrs. Wiens, I heard you're good at teaching."
Hmmmm, so THAT'S the word on the playground, huh?? I wonder if he's holding out to form his own opinion? He should.
In fact, let me introduce you to this little guy. Of course, I will never disclose names in this forum. I've watched him since kindergarten. He's ADHD, and quite honestly, I'm not sure if he's on meds or not. Hispanic families are much more accepting of children's behavior than the general population, and they aren't eager to medicate their children. He's always wiggling, but in a dancing way. AND, he's always wiggling his tongue! It's almost like his tongue grew to adult size first, and he doesn't have appropriate housing for it! So, he's aware of it, and wiggles it. He actually is quite acrobatic with that tongue. It amuses me. I remember seeing him in line, when he was in 1st and 2nd..... always jumping, dancing, clapping, wiggling. Quite irritating at times, I'm sure, but I was drawn to his enthusiasm. He was bouncing around as if in pure joy for simply being at school! So, when we met with the 2nd grade teachers to make class lists, he was on the list of "challenges". I said, "I'll take him."
We'll do just fine.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My Playlist
I don't think I can be cornered into a type of music. I rely on all styles to lift me, express my feelings, and soothe my spirit. It definitely depends on the occasion and for what reason I'm turning to the music. I can do rock, country, bluegrass, reggae, and if the truth be known... when I'm alone in the car, I sometimes listen to the Mexican radio station. I love Tejano and Latino music, except, I can't sing along. Not that I don't try.
I must say, I really love my playlist for this blog. When I was directed to Playlist.com, I found a treasure.... just about any music from my lifetime, all available for my own personalized playlist. The site allows you to build many lists, and each list can hold a ton of music (180ish songs, I think). My playlist for this blog speaks to my peaceful spirit. The music breathes calmness into me, and I love all of artists. At different times, I want to sing like each of them.
Willie Nelson... I've loved him, and I mean LOVED him, since 1976. We go way back together. He got my attention at a time when my friends and I were heavily into listening to Grand Funk Railroad, Bob Seger (ooo, I'll have to look him up on playlist), Edgar Winter, Steve Miller..... then I secretly drifted off to Willie, at a time when liking anyone remotely connected with country, would have caused me to be shunned. I take pride in believing that I've been very influencial in a number of people learning to love Willie's music through me. Someday, I'll do an entire Willie Nelson blog. He deserves it.
k.d. lang - her voice is "yum" to me. I think I have a crush.
Bonnie Raitt - She is what I would love to sound like as a blues/rocker. I love the raspy, raw edge in her voice. She really can tell the story.
Emmylou Harris - in the early 80's, I had most of her records. I listened to her a lot while I was commuting to my outdoor ed job in Springville. She has that mountain sound to her voice. Plus, she's a beauty.
CSNY - "Teach Your Children". Got this album when I was in the 8th grade, and listened to TYC plenty of times, as well as "Our House". I wondered why I couldn't harmonize with myself.... though, Cathy and I gave it a go on many of our own recorded songs. The song, Southern Cross, was one of Anthony's favorites. He introduced me to that song, and it can't listen to it without thinking of him. I love that song.
Jane Siberry - I heard this song, "Calling All Angels" on an episode of Six Feet Under. It was hauntingly beautiful. When my precious sister, Fran, died... I wanted this song played at the funeral. When I found it and really listened to the words, I was knocked over at how deeply the lyrics spoke to me and to our family at that time. We'd lost Ted, Scott, Anthony, and now Fran... all in a 2 year time. Never a more necessary time to have our angels surround us in their celestial knowledge and comfort, while we were trying to sort out emotions that were too intense and confusing for this earth.
Gillian Welch and Allison Krauss - "I'll Fly Away" If there's ever a funeral or memorial for me after I pass this world, I want this song, okay? How did I find this version?.... It's on the soundtrack from Oh Brother Where Art Thou. One of my favorite movies.
Merlin's Magic - this is my meditation music. When I sit in my invisible chair, this takes me where I want to go.
This playlist starts my day and brings me to a peaceful quiet at the end of the day. I love this music.
I must say, I really love my playlist for this blog. When I was directed to Playlist.com, I found a treasure.... just about any music from my lifetime, all available for my own personalized playlist. The site allows you to build many lists, and each list can hold a ton of music (180ish songs, I think). My playlist for this blog speaks to my peaceful spirit. The music breathes calmness into me, and I love all of artists. At different times, I want to sing like each of them.
Willie Nelson... I've loved him, and I mean LOVED him, since 1976. We go way back together. He got my attention at a time when my friends and I were heavily into listening to Grand Funk Railroad, Bob Seger (ooo, I'll have to look him up on playlist), Edgar Winter, Steve Miller..... then I secretly drifted off to Willie, at a time when liking anyone remotely connected with country, would have caused me to be shunned. I take pride in believing that I've been very influencial in a number of people learning to love Willie's music through me. Someday, I'll do an entire Willie Nelson blog. He deserves it.
k.d. lang - her voice is "yum" to me. I think I have a crush.
Bonnie Raitt - She is what I would love to sound like as a blues/rocker. I love the raspy, raw edge in her voice. She really can tell the story.
Emmylou Harris - in the early 80's, I had most of her records. I listened to her a lot while I was commuting to my outdoor ed job in Springville. She has that mountain sound to her voice. Plus, she's a beauty.
CSNY - "Teach Your Children". Got this album when I was in the 8th grade, and listened to TYC plenty of times, as well as "Our House". I wondered why I couldn't harmonize with myself.... though, Cathy and I gave it a go on many of our own recorded songs. The song, Southern Cross, was one of Anthony's favorites. He introduced me to that song, and it can't listen to it without thinking of him. I love that song.
Jane Siberry - I heard this song, "Calling All Angels" on an episode of Six Feet Under. It was hauntingly beautiful. When my precious sister, Fran, died... I wanted this song played at the funeral. When I found it and really listened to the words, I was knocked over at how deeply the lyrics spoke to me and to our family at that time. We'd lost Ted, Scott, Anthony, and now Fran... all in a 2 year time. Never a more necessary time to have our angels surround us in their celestial knowledge and comfort, while we were trying to sort out emotions that were too intense and confusing for this earth.
Gillian Welch and Allison Krauss - "I'll Fly Away" If there's ever a funeral or memorial for me after I pass this world, I want this song, okay? How did I find this version?.... It's on the soundtrack from Oh Brother Where Art Thou. One of my favorite movies.
Merlin's Magic - this is my meditation music. When I sit in my invisible chair, this takes me where I want to go.
This playlist starts my day and brings me to a peaceful quiet at the end of the day. I love this music.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
First Day
I never sleep restfully the night before the first day of school. That's okay, because by the end of the week, I'll be exhausted and coma/sleep. It's almost a relief when my alarm finally chimes that it's time to get this day started.
Ahhhh, I instantly feel that familiar school energy as I get out of my car in the parking lot. I can hear the children. Ours is a K-8 school, so there are 5 year olds up to 14 year olds. Laughing, running, reconnecting with friends. Hmmmm, don't hear any hysterical crying from the kindergarten playground. Good sign. Girls complimenting each other's new school clothes choices. Boys looking at "summer changed" girls, awkward, wanting attention, getting it in the dumbest of ways. Little ones running in circles, like dust devils. And... when they spot their previous year's teacher!! Hugs, "I miss you!" "I want to stay with you" "Look at my new shoes!" "My cousins are going to school here! They live with us!"
Everyone is charged up. The staff lounge is not much different than the playground. The adults are wearing first day of school clothes. We eye the front desk, looking for new students. Stash lunch into the refrigerator, and make way for the classroom.
When I walk up to my classroom, I see my fresh faces waiting for me. They look so timid, but at the same time, they are waiting to enter the room to stake their claim for the year. This room is now theirs. Some of these children have never been in my room. Some only visited when they were assigned to detention. Others, came for a Friday movie day. But, starting today, this is THEIR room. Home.
They look at me with big eyes. I know what they're thinking.... "is she mean?" "Am I going to be able to handle this?" "I like her shoes." (really cute first day of school shoes. I'll have to make an attempt to post a pic.) I smile, welcome them, wave them in and direct them to "Find your desk!" They look around, happy to discover they're sitting near a friend. Pencils and binders are unpacked, as they start their settlement.
Everyone is seated, and I have 14 faces staring at me. It's quite unsettling! I know this won't last. This is the honeymoon between us. As the week progresses, we'll ease up, they will get more comfortable, and the days of walking in quietly, getting seated, and looking toward me angelically with a face waiting to learn..... well, it just won't be that easy.
How cute they are. We are going to spent 180 days together. They are going to grow, physically and academically. We are going to know each other well. I am a link in their chain. I'm not the entire chain. I need to be sure that my link is strong. Solid. No cracks.
And, they are link number 29 in my chain. I trust them to be strong.
Ahhhh, I instantly feel that familiar school energy as I get out of my car in the parking lot. I can hear the children. Ours is a K-8 school, so there are 5 year olds up to 14 year olds. Laughing, running, reconnecting with friends. Hmmmm, don't hear any hysterical crying from the kindergarten playground. Good sign. Girls complimenting each other's new school clothes choices. Boys looking at "summer changed" girls, awkward, wanting attention, getting it in the dumbest of ways. Little ones running in circles, like dust devils. And... when they spot their previous year's teacher!! Hugs, "I miss you!" "I want to stay with you" "Look at my new shoes!" "My cousins are going to school here! They live with us!"
Everyone is charged up. The staff lounge is not much different than the playground. The adults are wearing first day of school clothes. We eye the front desk, looking for new students. Stash lunch into the refrigerator, and make way for the classroom.
When I walk up to my classroom, I see my fresh faces waiting for me. They look so timid, but at the same time, they are waiting to enter the room to stake their claim for the year. This room is now theirs. Some of these children have never been in my room. Some only visited when they were assigned to detention. Others, came for a Friday movie day. But, starting today, this is THEIR room. Home.
They look at me with big eyes. I know what they're thinking.... "is she mean?" "Am I going to be able to handle this?" "I like her shoes." (really cute first day of school shoes. I'll have to make an attempt to post a pic.) I smile, welcome them, wave them in and direct them to "Find your desk!" They look around, happy to discover they're sitting near a friend. Pencils and binders are unpacked, as they start their settlement.
Everyone is seated, and I have 14 faces staring at me. It's quite unsettling! I know this won't last. This is the honeymoon between us. As the week progresses, we'll ease up, they will get more comfortable, and the days of walking in quietly, getting seated, and looking toward me angelically with a face waiting to learn..... well, it just won't be that easy.
How cute they are. We are going to spent 180 days together. They are going to grow, physically and academically. We are going to know each other well. I am a link in their chain. I'm not the entire chain. I need to be sure that my link is strong. Solid. No cracks.
And, they are link number 29 in my chain. I trust them to be strong.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Preparing
I've been working in my classroom for the past two weeks, but I'm still going out there today, just to be sure that all is in place for Monday morning. Other teachers are much more efficient with their time than me, but I piddle. I like being in my room, alone. I turn on music, and flitter around the room. Very ADHD, but it works for me. I get many projects started at one time, and rotate from one to another, until one by one, they are completed. I know that bothers some personalities (I happen to live with one of those personalities!), people who like to complete a task before moving on to something else. But for me, I feel I'm keeping myself fresh for all of them at once. As I feel myself getting bored or frustrated, or the task is starting to feel tedious, then I move on to something else. I know I'll get back to the current task, when I'm re-energized for it.
I'm really liking how my room is looking. I've rearranged furniture a bit, to create more movement for the students. I've designed some really eye attractive learning centers, and I'm actually very excited to incorporate them in my instruction this year!
I want my students to walk in to THEIR classroom, and feel energy. The time I take to create an environment lets them know that I take this education stuff seriously and, even more importantly, I respect them and their needs. I need to balance having just enough visual stimulation for those who require that around them... with not over-doing it, for those who might feel visually overloaded. Personally, I prefer lots of visual stimulation. It charges me.
So, I will go out to my classroom today, and make sure all of my visual T's are crossed and I's are dotted. In 2 days, I will start a new school year adventure with a new group of students. I wonder what they are thinking this weekend?
I'm really liking how my room is looking. I've rearranged furniture a bit, to create more movement for the students. I've designed some really eye attractive learning centers, and I'm actually very excited to incorporate them in my instruction this year!
I want my students to walk in to THEIR classroom, and feel energy. The time I take to create an environment lets them know that I take this education stuff seriously and, even more importantly, I respect them and their needs. I need to balance having just enough visual stimulation for those who require that around them... with not over-doing it, for those who might feel visually overloaded. Personally, I prefer lots of visual stimulation. It charges me.
So, I will go out to my classroom today, and make sure all of my visual T's are crossed and I's are dotted. In 2 days, I will start a new school year adventure with a new group of students. I wonder what they are thinking this weekend?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
School Shopping
Yesterday I went to GW School Supply, which is a shopping mecca for teachers. After all these years teaching, you wouldn't think I'd need another teaching aid, language arts book, poster, calendar, or bulletin board. I probably don't. But, that's the greatest part of teaching. Each year is different. Each class has different needs and a different personality. There is always a better approach, a more appropriate approach for an individual student (hey, I just noticed the word "dual" is in individual.... isn't that an oxymoron??).
I'm getting anxious about this coming school year. The word is, I have some "challenges" awaiting me. That is normal, but somehow, teachers are always wanting a class that is "smooth"... and that is much less normal than "challenging."
This is what I love about teaching. Each year, in August, there is promise. This could be the year that a child clicks. This could be the year that a student really starts to get it. I could be super teacher this year!!!! Or, maybe not.
But, one thing for sure. Awaiting me is a group of individuals. A class that will take on its own personality, built from the individual personalities. They will each bring a bundle of life with them.... "Here's my box of life, Mrs. Wiens. I'm yours until June. Do something educational with me." And, in each box can be a mishmash of experiences.....
"I'm well loved"
"I'm over protected"
"I'm over indulged"
"My parents think I'm perfect."
"My parents expect more from me than I can deliver right now"
"I'm shy, and would rather not talk to you."
"I can't make friends very easily"
"I need a LOT of attention, and I'm willing to do ANYTHING to get it!"
"My parents are always yelling and fighting, and I can't concentrate"
"Someone has hurt me, but I can't talk about it."
"I'm hungry"
"I love learning"
"I don't want to be here"
"I can't read, and I'm embarrassed"
"I want to be number one!"
No matter what is in each box, I'm responsible for teaching each of them. I'm responsible for getting results, regardless of what each one brings in their box.
I hope I can make it a happy year. I wonder if I'll go shopping again?
I'm getting anxious about this coming school year. The word is, I have some "challenges" awaiting me. That is normal, but somehow, teachers are always wanting a class that is "smooth"... and that is much less normal than "challenging."
This is what I love about teaching. Each year, in August, there is promise. This could be the year that a child clicks. This could be the year that a student really starts to get it. I could be super teacher this year!!!! Or, maybe not.
But, one thing for sure. Awaiting me is a group of individuals. A class that will take on its own personality, built from the individual personalities. They will each bring a bundle of life with them.... "Here's my box of life, Mrs. Wiens. I'm yours until June. Do something educational with me." And, in each box can be a mishmash of experiences.....
"I'm well loved"
"I'm over protected"
"I'm over indulged"
"My parents think I'm perfect."
"My parents expect more from me than I can deliver right now"
"I'm shy, and would rather not talk to you."
"I can't make friends very easily"
"I need a LOT of attention, and I'm willing to do ANYTHING to get it!"
"My parents are always yelling and fighting, and I can't concentrate"
"Someone has hurt me, but I can't talk about it."
"I'm hungry"
"I love learning"
"I don't want to be here"
"I can't read, and I'm embarrassed"
"I want to be number one!"
No matter what is in each box, I'm responsible for teaching each of them. I'm responsible for getting results, regardless of what each one brings in their box.
I hope I can make it a happy year. I wonder if I'll go shopping again?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Droopy
I've been feeling droopy all day. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling the end of my summer vacation. June is always full of hope..... plans, lunch dates with friends I don't see often enough, projects that can be completed without the interuption of going to work, time is my own. During summer vacation, I own my time.
I want to sit by this Japanese garden. I want to read books about crystals and Journey of Souls. I want to listen to meditation music that takes me away from thought, and lets my brain travel to larger places. I want to look up from my book, come back from my mental travel, and see this place in front of me. I want to breath the air, smell the water, hear the breeze flicking the leaves. I want to feel myself being there, surrounded.
I'm not quite ready to turn myself over to the school. I need to catch my breath, before 18 third graders take ownership of me. I have 2 weeks left, but the image of summer vacation is fading before my eyes.
I'm going to sit in my invisible chair, turn on some chakra meditation music, and go on a mental drift. Maybe I'll find myself by a Japanese garden.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Today's glitter
I cracked up when I saw this!!! I thought I'd created this idea! I've told my friends that I wish when people farted, that glitter, rainbows, and butterflies would scatter out from their butt. That is the world I want.
Last school year, after I read the book "If" to my students, we did our own "wonder ifs...." I shared with them, "wonder if when you farted, glitter, rainbows, and butterflies flew out? Then, instead of waving your hand and saying 'phew', you'd say, 'Oh, how pretty that was!' Can you imagine how 3rd graders responded to that idea?? We had huge giggles and laughs (I know..... the teacher shouldn't say the word "fart", but, come on, it's a funny word!!!)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Plans change/historic decisions
1980....
In 1980 I was working in the Santa Cruz Mts. I was a naturalist for an Outdoor Ed. School. I loved it. My days were spent outside, from 8 am to 10 pm. I took 6th graders on hikes, teaching about the redwood forest, the chaparral, the stream, nature in general. I held creatures that children handed to me. I licked the slime on banana slugs (why? because that is what naturalists did). I pointed out wood rats (nicknamed "pack rats". very cute if not indoors). I caught newts, and showed them to my students. I had a talent for finding trapdoor spiders. I taught about the night sky, and I was able to point out a number of constellations. I lived in and with nature.
I loved this job, but it wasn't a year-round position. I felt guilty because my dear daddy had completely funded my college education. I had a BA from Cal Poly and a teaching credential, but I was not making much money. Certainly not enough to support myself. I lived at the camp. I worked from January to May 1979, then I went back to San Luis Obispo to complete my credential, and returned for another season in Santa Cruz. In May of 1980 I knew I had to find a teaching job. It was time to "get serious."
No one put any pressure on me. My parents never asked "When are you going to get a real job?" I put the pressure on myself. But, secretly, I was very frightened to enter the adult world of full time employment. A career!!!! I had the documents that claimed I was capable. The state of California deemed me worthy of teaching children. I was qualified!
I drove home from Santa Cruz at the end of May. I was going to stay in Lemoore for a week or two, then try to get a job in Visalia and live with my friend, Roberta. Easy, plans for fun, and it seemed right, since I'd lived with Barbara while going to COS, then lived with Gail during our Cal Poly years... so, it was Roberta/Gina time! I didn't have a concrete long-term plan, but this would definitely do for the time being.
Plans change.
Within a week of my return, disaster struck. My dear daddy had been diagnosed with brain cancer the previous November. He'd had surgery and they'd removed the tumor. Later, I was to be reminded that I had been sitting in the hospital waiting room, with my mom and siblings, when the doctor said the tumor was malignant, and would likely grow back. My brain did not, would not, hear that. I think my brain only processed that he made it through surgery, blah, blah, blah. Now, the tumor had returned. He'd just had a clear check up 3 months prior, but it was back..... growing quickly and growing large. Plans changed. I stayed in Lemoore that summer. I was not prepared, nor mature enough to handle this dark cloud of death. I selfishly avoided the issue as much as I could. On August 16, 1980, my dad died.
What I'm getting at is this... at the age of 23, I made some decisions that plotted the course of my life! Plans changed. I was devastated, scared, and empty. Within 3 weeks of my dad's death, I came down with mono and hepatitis A (from working with the feces of gypsy moths during that summer.... another story). I was so sick, very sick for 3 to 4 weeks, then another 2 weeks bouncing back.
My course changed in 1980.
*Instead of remaining open to working almost anywhere in the state, I wanted to stay close to home. (historic decision)
*I was offered a 2nd grade teaching job at Island Elementary School in Lemoore. Great little school. After some thought, I turned it down. I did not feel I had the emotional strength to do a good job as a classroom teacher. Not yet. (historic decision)
*I got another naturalist job. This time in the foothills above Springville. I taught the Bird Study. Loved it there. A totally different experience than my Santa Cruz job.
*There were different boys/men during this time. Still working at unwrapping myself from Gary (that too, is another story), meeting some new people, having pseudo-fun. Really a transition time, now that I look back.
*In May of 1981, I decided, again, to try to get serious about a classroom teaching job.
*I was hired to work at YMCA Camp in Sequoia Park. I decided not to do this. (historic decision)
*I got a job as a waitress in a new restaurant/bar in Hanford called "The Bastille" (historic decision)
Because of these decisions....
*I met Anthony while working at The Bastille.
*By turning down a job with Island School, I was hired, a year later, to teach 4th grade at Stratford School.
*I am still living in Lemoore.
I was 23 at the time I was making these youthful decisions. I don't remember struggling much with them. I just followed the flow of the river. I had no idea that I was being led to "my life"..... I was led to lifelong committments, a lifelong path, a plan that would color who I am.
In 1980 I was working in the Santa Cruz Mts. I was a naturalist for an Outdoor Ed. School. I loved it. My days were spent outside, from 8 am to 10 pm. I took 6th graders on hikes, teaching about the redwood forest, the chaparral, the stream, nature in general. I held creatures that children handed to me. I licked the slime on banana slugs (why? because that is what naturalists did). I pointed out wood rats (nicknamed "pack rats". very cute if not indoors). I caught newts, and showed them to my students. I had a talent for finding trapdoor spiders. I taught about the night sky, and I was able to point out a number of constellations. I lived in and with nature.
I loved this job, but it wasn't a year-round position. I felt guilty because my dear daddy had completely funded my college education. I had a BA from Cal Poly and a teaching credential, but I was not making much money. Certainly not enough to support myself. I lived at the camp. I worked from January to May 1979, then I went back to San Luis Obispo to complete my credential, and returned for another season in Santa Cruz. In May of 1980 I knew I had to find a teaching job. It was time to "get serious."
No one put any pressure on me. My parents never asked "When are you going to get a real job?" I put the pressure on myself. But, secretly, I was very frightened to enter the adult world of full time employment. A career!!!! I had the documents that claimed I was capable. The state of California deemed me worthy of teaching children. I was qualified!
I drove home from Santa Cruz at the end of May. I was going to stay in Lemoore for a week or two, then try to get a job in Visalia and live with my friend, Roberta. Easy, plans for fun, and it seemed right, since I'd lived with Barbara while going to COS, then lived with Gail during our Cal Poly years... so, it was Roberta/Gina time! I didn't have a concrete long-term plan, but this would definitely do for the time being.
Plans change.
Within a week of my return, disaster struck. My dear daddy had been diagnosed with brain cancer the previous November. He'd had surgery and they'd removed the tumor. Later, I was to be reminded that I had been sitting in the hospital waiting room, with my mom and siblings, when the doctor said the tumor was malignant, and would likely grow back. My brain did not, would not, hear that. I think my brain only processed that he made it through surgery, blah, blah, blah. Now, the tumor had returned. He'd just had a clear check up 3 months prior, but it was back..... growing quickly and growing large. Plans changed. I stayed in Lemoore that summer. I was not prepared, nor mature enough to handle this dark cloud of death. I selfishly avoided the issue as much as I could. On August 16, 1980, my dad died.
What I'm getting at is this... at the age of 23, I made some decisions that plotted the course of my life! Plans changed. I was devastated, scared, and empty. Within 3 weeks of my dad's death, I came down with mono and hepatitis A (from working with the feces of gypsy moths during that summer.... another story). I was so sick, very sick for 3 to 4 weeks, then another 2 weeks bouncing back.
My course changed in 1980.
*Instead of remaining open to working almost anywhere in the state, I wanted to stay close to home. (historic decision)
*I was offered a 2nd grade teaching job at Island Elementary School in Lemoore. Great little school. After some thought, I turned it down. I did not feel I had the emotional strength to do a good job as a classroom teacher. Not yet. (historic decision)
*I got another naturalist job. This time in the foothills above Springville. I taught the Bird Study. Loved it there. A totally different experience than my Santa Cruz job.
*There were different boys/men during this time. Still working at unwrapping myself from Gary (that too, is another story), meeting some new people, having pseudo-fun. Really a transition time, now that I look back.
*In May of 1981, I decided, again, to try to get serious about a classroom teaching job.
*I was hired to work at YMCA Camp in Sequoia Park. I decided not to do this. (historic decision)
*I got a job as a waitress in a new restaurant/bar in Hanford called "The Bastille" (historic decision)
Because of these decisions....
*I met Anthony while working at The Bastille.
*By turning down a job with Island School, I was hired, a year later, to teach 4th grade at Stratford School.
*I am still living in Lemoore.
I was 23 at the time I was making these youthful decisions. I don't remember struggling much with them. I just followed the flow of the river. I had no idea that I was being led to "my life"..... I was led to lifelong committments, a lifelong path, a plan that would color who I am.
Guess who has been experimenting with blog backgrounds?!?! I stayed up late last night, searching backgrounds and cutsie additions for blogs. Be patient with me while I play with color and designs. In the end, I'll probably have a very subtle, earthy blog page.... but, I want to try on a lot of colors before I commit.
Yesterday I had my eyelid surgery. I was feeling pangs of vanity guilt about an elective procedure that would take a few years (or maybe just months!) off of my overall appearance. I'm not very swollen............ Myles is diligent about reminding me to "ice up, Pookie". I'm happy to report that I'm already experiencing an improvement in vision! I know that insurance covered this procedure for that reason, but I really didn't expect a clearer range of periferal vision. I wanted to look less tired. I'm realizing that those drooping eyelids were truly interferring with some vision! A serendipity.
The surgery was really easy. The anesthesiologist told me that the most discomfort I'd experience was the insertion of the IV needle. He was right! He put me into a deep sedation, that lasted just a short time... long enough for the doctor to use needles to numb the area around my eyes. Thank you, modern medicine!!! Good meds for sure! I woke up during the procedure, and chit chatted with the doctor, while she stitched up my eyelids. Only the best drugs can make you THAT relaxed.
I won't post pictures, but I'll tell you, I look like Cleopatra, if she was drunk while applying her eye make up. Heavy blue/red/purple eyeliner and shadow, that extends out past the eyebrow line. This would have been great if I'd done it around Halloween. My students would have loved it! I look all creepy and beat up.
Yesterday I had my eyelid surgery. I was feeling pangs of vanity guilt about an elective procedure that would take a few years (or maybe just months!) off of my overall appearance. I'm not very swollen............ Myles is diligent about reminding me to "ice up, Pookie". I'm happy to report that I'm already experiencing an improvement in vision! I know that insurance covered this procedure for that reason, but I really didn't expect a clearer range of periferal vision. I wanted to look less tired. I'm realizing that those drooping eyelids were truly interferring with some vision! A serendipity.
The surgery was really easy. The anesthesiologist told me that the most discomfort I'd experience was the insertion of the IV needle. He was right! He put me into a deep sedation, that lasted just a short time... long enough for the doctor to use needles to numb the area around my eyes. Thank you, modern medicine!!! Good meds for sure! I woke up during the procedure, and chit chatted with the doctor, while she stitched up my eyelids. Only the best drugs can make you THAT relaxed.
I won't post pictures, but I'll tell you, I look like Cleopatra, if she was drunk while applying her eye make up. Heavy blue/red/purple eyeliner and shadow, that extends out past the eyebrow line. This would have been great if I'd done it around Halloween. My students would have loved it! I look all creepy and beat up.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The photo
Jake took this picture. He'd just purchased his camera and was playing around with the different settings, and this was one of the pics he took. He was at Jill and Wayne's. I like the black and white, the kitty, the sunlight on the floor, and the splash of yellow on the chair.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Introduction
I don't know if I have anything to write or not, but I know I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts, ideas, questions, philosophies, and a constant universal inquiry of "wonder if....."
I love glittery, shiny, pretty things. Anything that dances in my eyes (that includes people!), in my brain, in my heart, in my ears..... glitter me!! How can someone NOT stop and drink up a rainbow? A baby's laugh is like warm chocolate melting inside me. An eye to eye look from a love.... whoosh. Music that stirs me. A friend to share secrets.
That is my pixie dust, glitter, and sequins.
I love glittery, shiny, pretty things. Anything that dances in my eyes (that includes people!), in my brain, in my heart, in my ears..... glitter me!! How can someone NOT stop and drink up a rainbow? A baby's laugh is like warm chocolate melting inside me. An eye to eye look from a love.... whoosh. Music that stirs me. A friend to share secrets.
That is my pixie dust, glitter, and sequins.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)