token post

I've come here a number of times, with the intent to post something. I guess, lately, I've just felt flat and uninspired to share any thoughts, feelings, or experiences. I'm without expression.

Honestly, I'm working very hard, mentally, to avoid this school year from sucking the life out of me. It's turning out to be difficult. Yes and no, the kids aren't the easiest bunch to teach. Extremely distractable and immature. If I knew I could wait it out, because during the school year, they'll mature (somewhat), and after some maturing, I could do some SUPER teaching, I'd be a bit more relaxed. But, testing pressures, or should I say, SCORING pressures, has done a real number on squeezing a lot of joy out of this job. The powers that be don't seem to acknowledge that their scoring goals are measuring real life children. I don't have time to wait for nature. I have to CREATE a new, testable nature! I have to push against the nature for some of these kids. Oh, and believe me, some of them will push back.

I'm already stressing out. I'm trying to stay calm, find the middle where I can hold on to my own philosophies, values, and truths, yet work at producing what is required of my students and me.

I'm stressed that it is early Monday morning, and the thought of a new week is tiring me out, already.

I need to breathe.

I'm going to take a bath this morning. Do a little mind traveling.

I want to stay home and hide.