The Secret Life of Midwives - Birth #2

I suppose since birth is such a spiritual and direct link to God, the ability to be intuitive and read the wants, desires, and needs of couples becomes clear. During the week, Cathy left for another birth. I'd met the couple at her home on Saturday, and I was touched by the bond and love between this couple. I had a feeling that their birth needed privacy. Cathy agreed, so, I stayed behind.

I really don't remember what we did on Friday, but later in the afternoon, Cathy and I each retreated to our own space to catch a nap. I was in a deep sleep, but for how long, I never checked. I was awakened by a text message (technology at its finest) from Cathy -- "Get your birthing suit ready." I looked at the message and thought, "Am I up for a repeat?", but, I then I realized Cathy wasn't inviting me, she was informing me. We needed to get ready. A minute or two later, I received another text that said, "We'll leave in 40 minutes."

I got up and went to her birth room of supplies. The towels were clean and folded, and I knew which bag was used for towels, so I packed the towels she would need. I don't really remember much more.. what did I wear? How did I get myself ready? I remember that we got the car packed and ready, that's about it. No more detailed memory than that.

Again, birth time. We arrived maybe around 8 pm. We were greeted by a nice, calm dad holding a, not feeling so well, 18 month old. A glowing mother, affectionately rubbing her tummy, was sitting on the lower stairs. I noticed, in the family room, were their other two boys, happily watching a movie. Three boys, and sometime before morning, their baby sister would be joining the family. How exciting! The comparison was made to Christmas morning, going to bed knowing Santa would visit during the night. Tonight, Santa Cathy would deliver their baby sister.

Cathy went upstairs with mom to check her, ask questions, and get a feel for what was presently happening. I started unpacking the car. If I may add a personal whine... the altitude of the Salt Lake City area is MUCH higher than what I'm used to in the Central Valley of California. And EVERYONE has stairs and levels to their homes!! Carrying things in and out from the car, up a driveway, up to the front door, and then upstairs in the house made me feel like an old worn out lady. The only positive part of it was, no one was around to talk to me, to find out how out of breath I was at such seemingly easy tasks! I felt privately out of shape and embarrassed.

The birthing pool was set up in the couple's bedroom, but had not been filled yet with water. Mom sent dad to the store to get snacks. Grandma was on her way to care for the boys. While surveying the birthing supplies, Cathy realized we'd forgotten the chair. She was disappointed, and took some time deciding if it was important enough to drive home to get. Since it appeared that her services were not going to be needed within the hour, Cathy decided we'd return home for the birthing chair. She estimated being away 40-50 minutes. She let dad know we were going to get it and on the way we'd stop at the store for some coconut milk for mom, her favorite rehydrating beverage. Dad seemed totally at ease and anticipated no problem with Cathy leaving. Cathy instructed him to call her immediately if anything changed, and she'd zip right back to their home.

Cathy called Briana to let her know who was in labor and update her on current details. Briana was at a concert with her sister, but said she'd come over as soon as it was over, which seemed within an appropriate time frame for the birth event.

We continued on our trip to retrieve the forgotten chair, and while at home realized we probably should get a protein snack to energize us for the pending activities. I had a nectarine with cottage cheese. I don't recall what Cathy had, but I know it was protein packed. We hop back into the car and drive back to the home of a waiting mother.

When we return, grandma has arrived to take over care of the boys, so dad is available for his role : a source of love, support, encouragement, and focus. (I will write more about the dads later). It is clear that mom is progressing in her labor.

Again, I witness a couple who have not stumbled upon their homebirth decision accidentally, or on a whim. A homebirth requires both husband and wife to be onboard completely. It requires a total committment and responsibility to the experience, from beginning to end. It requires confidence in the decision. This couple have had three children in a hospital setting. Cathy informs me, in the car, that the mom may need more verbal support during her birth, because she is working out of the realm of her previous birthing experiences. She might question more. She may need more reassurance as her birthing progresses with different decisions and techniques from her midwife at home.

We all go upstairs to the couple's bedroom. The pool is filling with hot water, so by the time mom needs to get into it, the water is comfortable. Contractions are felt strongly in her back hips, and she needs her husband to provide counter pressure, by using his arms to squeeze against her hips during contractions. I privately time her contractions, as an activity to keep myself focused on the events. It really is amazing to me that contractions get into a rhythm, and can be predictably expected. At this time, they were occurring every 5 minutes.

Mom begins to appear sort of restless. She's looking around, appraising her own situation, and then voices to Cathy that she really doesn't think she wants to use the birthing pool. She is almost apologetic in her tone, and asks if that's okay. It wasn't surprising to me that Cathy let her know that it is all her decision, and it is perfectly okay for her to do this anyway she wants. I look at Cathy's face, and I suspect she believes the mom will change her mind, but she is not going to express that at this time. I wonder if my presence is a distraction for mom. I don't feel she wants her body so publicly expose, so I go downstairs and write in the journal I brought with me.

After a while, Cathy comes downstairs and joins me. Mom was doing fine, and possibly needed some time to get herself sorted. Cathy gives the couple some alone time. In a bit, Cathy is called back upstairs to the bedroom. I follow to see if there is anything I can do to be of service, within reason of course. I know that each time Cathy checks the baby's heart rate, I need to record time and rate. I record other events, figuring if it's not necessary information, Cathy can simply omit it when writing her final records.

Mom is definitely being called to duty. She's doing everything right, yet definitely feeling some strong contractions. Her husband is giving her all the support he can, continuing with the counterpressure on her hips. Birthing time continues, and I really don't recall the elapsed time. Briana and her sister, Candace, arrive. Once again, Briana doesn't waste anytime, she gets right into the bedroom and finds a midwife perch.

At some point, mom was getting tired and frustrated with the pain and her laboring positions. She asked Cathy if the pain would be any better or relieved in the pool. Cathy smiled and said, that it would help. I noticed, almost instantly, that once mom moved into the pool and got situated, she seemed to relax a lot more during the contractions. She was asking questions, just as Cathy predicted. She made a comment that her hospital midwife did something that helped progress the birth. Cathy listened, but really didn't respond or comment.

While she was laboring in the pool, I took notice of Briana and Cathy. Later, I would imitate what I coined, "the midwife stare." They sat very quietly and watched the mom labor. Just watched. Sometimes Briana's eyebrow would give away her thoughts, and it would arch. I wondered what analysis she was privately forming. To me, it just looked like they were staring at her, allowing her to work through her own process. Cathy explained that, in the midwife world, this is referred to as "holding the space."

Cathy continues to check the mom and baby. All is fine, progress is being made, but it seems the sac is bulging, but not breaking. Cathy reports to mom that she now understands what the previous hospital midwife may have done to progress the delivery. Together, Cathy, Briana, mom, and dad decide that Cathy should puncture the bag, since it seems to be in the path. They decide to do this over the toilet. After the bag has been able to release, mom returns, not to the pool, but to her bed. The final phase of birth begins to unfold.

Their baby's head starts to show, and I witness an event that will forever touch my heart. Dad lovingly and gently "talks" this baby and mother through the delivery. He is telling his wife everything he sees of their baby girl.... "Oh, I see our little girl's head!" "She has hair!" "Oh, our baby girl is coming" And he continued to verbally support his wife in this most precious, gentle fashion. This baby girl inched her way out, peacefully, gently, and beautifully. And, in joy, she rested on the chest of her mother, with both parents enveloping her in their love.

This new baby girl cried dutifully, then rested so comfortably and contently with her mother, it was apparent that this is a child of peace and calm. Her brothers had gone to bed hours earlier, with eager anticipation of meeting their baby sister in the morning. They were not going to be disappointed.