Sad

Sad is a feeling
ride through it and don't avoid it.
It is a flu of the emotions,
It is a dullness in your color aura, 
It is your gut thinking
you must have swallowed a poison,
and your body wants to purge it.

Disappointment.
Routines disrupted
Looking back hurts.
Looking forward confuses.
An unplanned challenge
that demands your strength,
while it weakens your core.

Sadness is real.
It is life and breath,
It is here,
for now.
It fades.
Don't fear it,
it is only a feeling
It is not defining.

No homework calls

I must document this somewhere.  No names will be used, to protect the innocent.

This year, I'm working on a team at school with two other teachers.  We are sharing the same students, rotating throughout the day.  The other two teachers have been working together for the past couple of years, so I agreed to follow their lead on their homework policy.  Students who do not turn in their homework at school  call home immediately and tell their parent.  No excuses. 

I don't permit my students to give me the excuse "I forgot".  I know it sounds harsh, but they say "I forgot" as a cleansing phrase for everything!!  Apparently, it is the universal response that erases all responsibility for anything.

The phone is right by my desk, so I hear these conversations, and I am realizing that these children don't have a lot of phone etiquette or experience.  I can only imagine the parent answering their phone and hearing, "I didn't do my homework" ----  no hello, no identification, no pre-conversation niceties.

One student, in particular, is amusing me considerably with the phone messages he's leaving.  2 days of homework. 2 phone calls home.

Day 1 -   "Grandma? I got in trouble. I didn't do my homework............ *pause*.............. say yes if you're mad.   (remember, this was a message on the voicemail!)


Day 2  (remember, I don't allow them to say "I forgot".  This was ingenious on his part)  "Grandma? I got in trouble. I didn't do my homework, because of my memory................*pause*.................. thank you for hearing this."

After this message, I asked if his Grandma worked.  Response?  "No! My grandma is OLD!"   I dare not check his records to find her age.  I fear she's younger than I am.

Actually, he probably exhibited the most telephone savvy.  At least he thought of a closing statement for each message!!

Honestly?   I hope he misses a lot of assignments.

I wish I'd written this....

I signed up online to receive these inspirations each day,  www.dailyom.com.  I don't read them each day, but on the days I decide to read it, I believe it is because the message is calling for my attention.  This one was so beautifully powerful, I felt compelled to share.

A Great Teacher

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and streams down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a specific time and place, within a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on, as we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard but we always keep moving on. Water can inspire us to not become rigid with fear or cling to what’s familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past, but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not run away from it in fear of the dark; instead, water humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than run away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.

Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now

I've been on a Judy Collins wave.  She helped me get my classroom prepared in a peaceful, unrushed way.  So, I did some youtubing, and I found her with Graham Nash and Stephen Stills.

She and Stephen have a past together.  The way they greeted each other.  The delight in her eyes.  The embrace from Stephen.  These people have carried each other in their hearts.  I know it!  I can see it. I've been entertaining an innocent obsession with them since watching this. I've been thinking about relationships and love.

Just because a relationship doesn't lead to marriage and everlasting union, doesn't mean that it wasn't real.  A relationship can be full of love, energy, and connection, but for a variety of reasons, it doesn't or can't progress for the long haul.  This does not lessen it's value. 

Timing is key.  Personal paths and positions on the path. Sync. Alignments. Hearts. Purpose.  The relationship does not deflate, lose value, nor become frivolous, simply because it didn't lead to marriage. I wonder how many people are carrying a relationship in their heart, a locked box with a tiny key hidden under a secret rock.  Consciously ignoring it. Subconsciously embracing it.

Stephen embraced that relationship.  He acknowledge their strength.  Their union. Their love.  That's forever.  And always. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ7rrszpJlI

Music Diaries

I'm working on a project that sprouted this summer between Cathy and me.  We have been creating lists, as a means of entertainment, since the 1960s.  Go figure, the two people on earth who consider list-making a "fun" pastime, would find each other and become best friends forever.  Probably because the chances of finding another list-lover was slim.  And, Cathy ran the risk of the only other list-lover being some Asian girl named Kim Chee. 

While visiting the Larson manor, we list lusted, "Let's make a list of our top ten, all time favorite songs."

Oh, this would be a list too wonderful to ignore!  We started making rules (which may be altered, dropped, or stretched as we see fit).

"We'll make our lists privately!"

"Then we'll share and see how many songs are on both

of our lists!"

"Can we have more than 10?"

We were spiraling into a list-lovers' frenzy!!

Then other topics started to pop into our listy brains..........

Worst lyrics
Best sing-a-longs
Songs that make you cry
Songs you secretly loved
Songs you can't stand!
Annoying artists

We were making lists of topics for lists!!  We were officially out of control.

I thought about this during my extended travels, and decided that when I got home, I was going to make hard-covered books that would hold all of our music loves and truths.  I went online to find directions, and I started my book-binding process.

I'm hoping, by the end of August (probably September), to have the books finished.  Each page will have a topic/question related to musical loves, hates, and memories.  These books will be fluid, lifelong works in progress.  They will tell your musical story.
My dream is for our first book sharing to be on the beach, in Santa Barbara.  Then we can drive inland to Ojai and catch the pink moment.

Or, maybe back at the Larson Manor.

Would you like a book of your own?

                                                                                              

Just get in the water

"Just get in the water. You are protected."

This summer I stepped into the water. I didn't need protection, I just needed guidance and encouragement. It was the right thing to do.  There was purpose in this calling to go to Sedona.

My gratitude is deep, for the gift of this summer.  The fuzziness of my path gained more clarity. More trust, less waiting for guarantees.  That was my lesson.

I was smart to fill my soul's tank with the South Jordan tribe.  They fueled me good.




There's a dance going on inside me. Wild.