There is a chunk of time in the early evening, that I like to call "limbo'clock." After dinner, it's a time when there's nothing really to do or think about, sort of an empty time. It's too late for a nap, but too early for bed, yet, not enough time to get involved in anything exciting. Often, during limbo'clock I'll decide to drive to Hanford for some random shopping.
Tonight, my initial intention was to go to Michael's (Stepford craft women ---- shivers!). I need to get my supplies for Mothers' Day projects. I'm not a religious Michael's shopper, so I wasn't aware that the store closed at 7 pm on Sundays. I arrived at.... 7 pm. So, I walked two doors down to Marshalls, walked through with only a slight interest, bought some workout clothes (whatever) and left.
Next, I went to Target, because I needed laundry soap. I completely love the randomness that is available by shopping at Target. The only "must purchase" necessary was the soap. But, really... why waste a drive and Target trip for only one item!? So, I started my zigzag through the store.
At some point, I started to feel out of my body. It was like I wanted to rush through the store and pretend I was in a shopping sweepstakes! The urge to *make purchases* was building momentum inside me. I really needed nothing, but I wanted to buy stuff.
I looked at:
Keurig coffee pods
kitchen cafe curtains
bedding (I think I have a bedding fetish)
wall shelves
bar stools
iPods
TVs
CDs
exercise balls
hangers
purses
clutch/wallets
make up
computer ink
books
baby clothes (Diane, you may very well benefit from my insanity)
I DID mention random shopping, didn't I? As I was morphing into a moth around a Target porch light, I started to focus on this inner urge to buy something. I really felt like just throwing crap into my cart. I was wondering what it felt like to start a slow boil to insanity.
When I was wandering through the book section, I saw a number of books I would love to buy and read, which brought to mind that some years ago I lost my ability to really read. Okay, I still know HOW to read, but I never do that - nose in a book - kind of reading. I loved that kind of reading. I feel like I've lost a chunk of my attention span for reading. I read a couple of pages, then I close the book. I've narrowed down the reason to 1)eyesight dwindle and/or 2)no place in the house with good lighting and comfort. I have lighting OR comfort, but nowhere with both.
Back to the insanity. I started thinking about this lack of reading attention, and started to wonder if this is some early stage of fading away from intellectual strength? Should I force myself to read? I like to read. I just don't read intensely. I'm thinking I should keep my reading brain in good shape, or I might lose brain tone. My brain might get flabby. It's happening to other parts of me, the brain might be losing it's tone too. (Keep in mind, I probably appeared to be a normal shopper, but these were the thoughts that were running through my mind).
Wait! Maybe blogging is keeping my brain in shape! Oh, not if I write randomly. Oh great! Now I'm just encouraging my own abstract randomness.
Well, one thing that is comforting. I completely filled in my limbo'clock and it's now time for bed. Which leads me to the thrill that my sheets are white and freshly washed. Ahhhhh.
3 comments:
This may be my favorite post ever! I have been there! I do that! I know that Limbo Hour! Target wandering, the reading thing and yes the love of crisp sheets. Once after a wandering therapy session with myself I left the entire cart of goods and my purse in the dark parking lot. The rest of the story is long and exhausting.
Screamy, Gigi.
I love this post, too. Perfect.
As far as reading ... I was a bookworm for a really long time, and then I stopped for a few years. I found my life was too full of chaos and I kind of ran out of room for the things I loved to do. After some halting attempts, I found books that held me (Life of Pi was one of my first back into the foray) and I haven't broke up with reading since.
Now all my reading is about baby stuff and nutrition.
BTW - are you one of those people that change your sheets every day? If so, I am a little jealous but not enough to actually do it. Changing sheets is a pain, but I love the way they feel.
You don't KNOW how much better I feel knowing that you ladies could relate to my Target experience. I will not longer worry about pending mental illness. Either that, or we can just look forward to a group rate in a peaceful institution.
Diane, I wash my sheets on Sunday. It never occurred to me that there could be people who wash their sheets every day!! That's too tiring, though it must be enormously rewarding each night. Even though I love buying sheets, I always end up with a favorite set, then I use them over and over again. Right now, I'm in love with my 600 count Costco white sheets. (white just seems to feel crisper and cleaner).
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